| What is domestic abuse?There are many
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| | you
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| forms of domestic abuse, ranging from
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| | If you are injured, go to a doctor or
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| screaming threats to pushing and shoving.
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| | emergency room and report what happened
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| Contrary to what many women think, abuse
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| | to you
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| isn't just physical battering.Domestic
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| | Make sure that they record your visit
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| abuse may include emotional abuse,
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| | Make sure that your children know that
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| economic abuse, sexual abuse, using
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| | it is their job to stay safe, not protect
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| children, threats, using male privilege,
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| | you
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| intimidation, isolation and a variety of
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| | Keep a journal of all violent incidences
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| other behaviors used to maintain fear,
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| intimidation and power. In all cultures,
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| | Start an individual savings account and
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| the perpetrators are most commonly the
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| | have statements sent to a trusted friend
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| men of the family.
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| | Acquire job skills
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| Nearly one in three adult women
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| | If you must sneak away, leave extra
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| experiences at least one physical assault
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| | money, extra car keys, important papers,
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| by a partner during adulthood, according
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| | and extra set of clothes for yourself and
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| to the American Psychological Association
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| | children with a trusted friend (avoid
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| in a 1996 report.Domestic abuse does not
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| | family members and mutual friends who may
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| discriminate against race, age and
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| | be influenced by the abuser). Include a
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| socioeconomic background. No specific
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| | list of important numbers (insurance
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| type of woman is more prone to being
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| | numbers, driver's license, medication,
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| battered by her partner, nor is one type
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| | checkbook, credit card numbers, etc.)
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| of woman completely safe from abuse.What
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| | Practice effective Self Defense
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| Victims of Domestic Violence Need to
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| | Tricks... just in caseGetting OutWhat to
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| Know?The abuse is not your fault
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| | do when leaving an abusive
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| You don't deserve to be abused
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| | relationship?If you are contemplating
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| You can't change someone who is abusive
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| | leaving an abusive relationship, there
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| Staying in the relationship won't stop
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| | are some things you should do that may
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| the abuse
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| | assist you in the process of leaving:Make
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| With time the abuse always gets worse
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| | a safety planWrite down Contact Places in
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| If you stay, make a plan to keep
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| | the community for support
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| yourself safe when the abuse happens
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| | Assess your safety and that of your
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| again
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| | children
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| You CAN Fight Back!Signs of Domestic
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| | Contact a shelter for a safe place to
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| AbuseActs of domestic violence generally
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| | stay
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| fall into one or more of these
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| | Seek interim custody
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| categories:Physical battering -- The
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| | Seek a support system from family,
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| abuser's physical attacks or aggressive
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| | friends and advocates
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| behavior can range from bruising to
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| | Be prepared, it helps you in a case of
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| murder.Sexual abuse -- Physical attack by
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| | emergencyMake an Escape PlanMake sure you
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| the abuser is often accompanied by or
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| | have important documents
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| culminates in, sexual
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| | Save money in secret when you can
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| violence.Psychological battering -- The
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| | Keep extra keys and clothes with friends
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| abuser's psychological or mental violence
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| can include constant verbal abuse,
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| | Plan out all possible escape routes -
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| harassment, excessive possessiveness,
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| | doors, first floor windows, elevators,
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| isolating the woman from friends and
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| | stairwells and rehearse escape routes
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| family, and depriving her of food, money,
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| | with your children
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| clothes, and destroying her personal
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| | Arrange a safe place to go such as a
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| property.
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| | friend or relative who will offer
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| Be Prepared!If you have been assaulted,
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| | unconditional support - or a motel,
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| you can report it to the police.The
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| | hotel, or shelter
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| Criminal Code says that assault is a
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| | Memorize the telephone number of a
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| criminal offence. The Code describes
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| | domestic violence shelter or call 911
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| three types of assault and sets maximum
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| | Secure transportation
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| penalties (called sentences) for each
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| | Work out a signal system with a friend
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| type.The three types of assault are:
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| | or other family members so that they know
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| Simple assault (most common assault).
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| | you are in danger
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| Examples are slapping, pushing or
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| | Go when he is gone
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| shoving, punching or threatening that he
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| | Don't tell him you are leaving
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| or she will harm you or your
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| | Create an excuse to slip away
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| children.Assault with a weapon or causing
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| | Avoid arguments in areas with potential
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| bodily harm. Examples are an assault
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| | weapons such as the kitchen, garage, or
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| where you are beaten with a baseball bat
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| | in small spaces without escape routes
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| or an assault where you get a black eye
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| | When leaving your home, be aware. Your
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| or broken bones.Aggravated assault is an
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| | spouse may try to hurt you to stop you
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| assault where your life is endangered or
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| | escaping
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| you are wounded, maimed or disfigured.
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| | Start to learn self defense techniques
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| Examples are where the offender threatens
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| | immediately!What can you do if you have
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| to kill you or where your injuries from
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| | been abused?You can, and you should talk
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| the assault leave you with a limp or
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| | to someone about the abuse. You can tell
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| scars.Warning signs of an Abusive
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| | a family member, a friend, or your
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| RelationshipAre you frightened of your
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| | doctor. You can also talk to a support
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| partner's temper?
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| | group in your community. Women's centers
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| Are you often compliant because you are
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| | and legal aid offices may be able to tell
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| afraid to hurt your partner's feelings or
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| | you of other services which offer
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| are afraid of your partner's anger?
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| | help.You can get medical help - if you
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| Do you have the urge to "rescue" your
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| | have been hurt you can go to your doctor
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| partner when your partner is in trouble?
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| | or to the Emergency Department at a
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| Do you find yourself apologizing to
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| | hospital. If your injuries are visible
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| others for your partner's behavior when
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| | you can have pictures taken. They can be
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| you are treated badly?
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| | used in court should you decide to lay
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| Have you been hit, kicked, shoved, or
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| | assault charges. There are special
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| had things thrown at you by your partner
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| | medical and police procedures for sexual
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| when he was jealous or angry?
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| | assault cases. For more information,
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| Do you make decisions about activities
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| | check the Sexual Assault Department and
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| and friends according to what your
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| | the law in your country.You can apply for
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| partner wants or how your partner will
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| | a peace bond (in the countries where this
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| react?
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| | system exist)A peace bond or
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| Do you drink or use drugs to dull the
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| | 'recognizance' is a paper signed by a
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| pain or join your partner so he won't get
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| | person (such as a spouse) promising to
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| mad?
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| | keep the peace and be of good behavior.
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| Do you consent easily to your partner to
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| | The peace bond may have other conditions
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| avoid angering him?
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| | such as requiring the person to stay away
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| What are some of the warning signs?
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| | from your home or place of work. A peace
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| He is extremely jealous.
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| | bond may last for up to one year. The
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| Wants to know where you are at all
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| | judge decides how long it will last.You
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| times.
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| | have to go to court to get a peace bond.
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| Gets upset if you spend time with
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| | You do not have to be assaulted to apply
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| friends or family.
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| | nor do you have to lay assault charges.
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| Holds rigid expectations of male/female
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| | You do have to convince the judge that
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| or adult/child role.
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| | you have a reasonable fear of the
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| He expects you to meet his emotional
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| | offender. The offender will also be in
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| needs.
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| | court.Finding a Place To GoWhen an
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| Blames others and you for his problems.
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| | assault occurs you should attempt to
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| Threatens you with violence.There may be
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| | protect yourself. One way you might do
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| many other warning signs; you can phone
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| | this is to leave the home. If you don't
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| the nearest Woman's Shelter for further
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| | have a friend or family member with whom
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| information.Do something before it's too
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| | you can safely stay, and cannot afford a
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| late!In your contact with any family
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| | motel, there are shelters in your country
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| member, the following observations should
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| | which will accommodate you in an
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| be considered clues to the possibility of
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| | emergency. The RCMP or the police, if
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| wife assault.
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| | requested, will escort you out of the
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| A history of wife assault or child abuse
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| | family home to any safe place you
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| in his family of origin.
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| | specify.If there are no shelters for you
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| A suspicion of child abuse or sexual
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| | in the vicinity, the Salvation Army may
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| abuse in his role as a father.
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| | be able to provide temporary assistance.
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| Abuse of drugs or alcohol.A history of
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| | It might also be worthwhile to check with
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| suicidal thoughts or suicide
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| | the local Crisis Line or Help Line which
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| attempts.Such characteristics
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| | may be able to provide a list of the
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| as:Impulsiveness
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| | organizations that can help during a
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| Temper tantrums
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| | crisis.National Domestic Violence/Abuse
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| Jealousy
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| | Hotline
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| Possessiveness
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| | 1-800-799-SAFE
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| Excessive dependence on his wife
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| | 1-800-799-7233
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| ImmaturityWhat do we know about
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| | 1-800-787-3224
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| abusers?They try to isolate victims from
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| | TDD 24-hour-a-day hotline staffed by
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| family and friends
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| | trained counselors ready to provide
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| They minimize and deny their behavior
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| | immediate crisis intervention assistance
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| They veil power and control over others
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| | to those in need. Callers can be
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| They blame victims
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| | connected directly to help in their
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| They distrust others
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| | communities, including emergency services
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| They often have been victims or
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| | and shelters as well as receive
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| witnessed abuse
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| | information and referrals, counseling and
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| They usually have low self-esteem
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| | assistance in reporting abuse.
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| They are not in touch with their own
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| | This is a vital lifeline to anyone -
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| feelingsPreparing to LeaveKeep evidence
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| | man, woman or child - who is a survivor
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| of abuse (i.e., pictures, police reports,
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| | of domestic violence, or who suspects
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| etc.) in a safe place that is accessible
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| | that someone they know may be the victim
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| to you
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| | of abuse. Calls to the hotline are
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| Know where you can go to get help; tell
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| | confidential, and callers may remain
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| someone you trust what is happening to
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| | anonymous if they wish.
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