Survivor to Thriver: Healing the Impact of Childhood Abuse

Healing the impact of childhood abuse is a difficult yetthese defenses with healthier coping skills you are
hopeful process. If you were physically or sexuallyfreer to be in touch with what is inside you. You
abused as a child, you may often feel fragmented,learn to experience a broader range of feelings,
confused, vulnerable, and somewhat chaotic inside.accurately name them, and make choices about
You may have difficulty with trust and intimacy inexpressing them. During this time your relationship
your relationships, and your emotions may seemwith your body is also very significant. The way the
unpredictable and volatile to you. You may also haveabuse has affected your feelings about your body,
a generalized feeling that you are somehow "bad" orand your body's need for healing are part of the
unworthy, and therefore, not like yourself very much.healing process. At this point Group Therapy &/or
You may also feel guilty, as though you caused theTrauma Touch Therapy (TM) can be integrated into
abuse. All of these experiences are common andyour journey and provide additional avenues for
make sense in light of your childhood experience.healing. Your relationship with yourself changes as
There IS hope! An integrated and intentionalyou are able to have compassion for yourself, grieve
approach in therapy can lead to healing in these areasyour losses, and honor the truth of your experience.
of your life. This healing involves reconnecting withThe fragmentation you developed as a way of
parts of yourself that seem disconnected andstaying safe becomes less necessary and you can
alienated, reclaiming your life by learning to be inbegin developing a more cohesive sense of yourself
charge of your behavior and make good choices, andas an adult. While this is a difficult time in the process,
transforming your relationship to self and others. Itit is also one that is full of meaning, transformation
may be helpful to think of the healing process asand hope.
taking place in three primary stages: 1) gettingMoving On occurs as you are increasingly able to
started; 2) reconnecting with yourself; and 3) movingintegrate your new awareness and experience of
on.yourself on every level. How you think about
Getting Started is primarily focused on helping youyourself and the abuse is changing. Now you are
understand what you are experiencing, what you canopen to new ways of viewing the world, others and
expect from therapy, and how you can help yourselfyourself. Your new skills and ability to manage your
through the process. In this stage, understanding isfeelings and maintain healthy boundaries bring with it
empowerment. During this time you learn new waysthe possibility for meaningful relationships. Perhaps
of thinking about the abuse and its effects. Youmost importantly, you may become less likely to
develop skills and strategies for handling flashbacks,identify yourself in terms of the abuse, as you move
emotional intensity and boundary issues. Perhapsfrom being a survivor to being a thriver. You may
most importantly, you develop emotional self-careexperience increasing levels of energy to give to
skills that will enable you to nurture, comfort, andthose things in the "here and now" that are important
calm yourself as you move through your healingto you, as less of your energy is given to protecting
journey. These skills can help you feel safer with theyourself from the impact of the abuse.
emotions that may seem overwhelming now.As a survivor, you learned to use your "smarts" and
Reconnecting With Yourself is the heart of theingenuity to get through an overwhelmingly painful
healing process, and takes commitment, courage, andexperience. As a thriver, these internal resources that
a desire for wholeness. During this time you learn toserved you so well are transformed into strengths
identify the ways you have protected yourself thatfor living fully in the present.
are no longer helpful to you. As you gradually replace