The Bush Doctrine of Parenting

When George Bush announced the "Bush Doctrine"these accurate, real-time tools available to parents
as a policy of preemptive attacks on terrorists andoften go unused until it's too late. Often parents
states that harbor them, citizens lined up both forunwilling to use such tools, or use them properly, will
and against his argument. When it comes to parentingaccept heavier losses if not outright defeat. Quality
and the dangers facing teens during adolescence,intelligence gathering is the cornerstone of an
some parents have begun implementing their owneffective battle plan.
version of the "Bush Doctrine" as critics try to makeBen Franklin once said, "Wise is the man who fixes
their voices heard as well.his roof before it rains." If ol' Ben were alive today,
Sexual predators targeting children in Internet chatI'm certain he would encourage parents to sit down
rooms, temptations to drive recklessly and at highwith their kids long before such problems were likely
speeds, and substance abuse all threaten the livesto occur to explain their expectations, the tools at
and well-being of teens.their disposal, and the rewards and consequences
Most parents, whether they know it, or will admit it,tied to the information they gathered.
have teens who have been at risk from theseKids need to know that their parents are on their
dangers.side and that they are united against common foes.
Where should parents draw the line in their family'sParents need to let their teens know they are
personal battle with these "terrorists of adolescence,"providing them with a "socially acceptable" excuse to
you know... the people and activities that put a teen'sdeter pushy peers. What could be a more potent
life and well-being at stake? Are parents even in theresponse for teens than "I can't: my parents are
fight? How committed are they and for how long?checking"?
The enemy is present and totally committed. ParentsRonald Reagan, in dealing with the Soviet Union during
are woefully outnumbered and surrounded, and theirthe Cold War, took a "trust and verify" approach
enemy will never, ever give up. However, in parents'that when applied by parents properly in this capacity
arsenal, they possess the most powerful weapon ofcan help parents and teens find a reasonable middle
all. If misused, this weapon could be ineffective andground. Trust without verification removes the
may even backfire. What is this weapon? It's theleverage and power the bond of trust has on teens.
bond of trust between parents and their teens.Many teens believe (and rightfully so) that their
Why would parents object to putting a GPS systemparents are easily duped and don't know what's going
in their teen's car to alert them when their teenson. With this belief, teens doubt their mischief will
broke family rules (and often laws) by driving theirever be discovered and don't feel their parental bond
car too far, too fast, or recklessly? Why would theyof trust is in jeopardy. Little or no behavioral
scoff at the idea of putting software capable ofdeterrent exists. Additionally, without verification, a
retrieving their teen's email and Internet chat roomwindow of opportunity exists for uninformed parents
discussions on their family computer? Knowing thatto cause damage to the bond of trust by falsely
substance abuse is illegal, addictive, and deadly, whyassuming that their kids aren't deserving of their trust
would parents refuse to implement a home drugand treating them accordingly.
testing program that would allow them to knowIf decisions are only as sound as the facts on which
which, if any substances their teens were using?they are based, more information is better than less.
While parents as well as teens value the bond ofFacts trump gut instinct, and it's better to get
trust, some choose to believe that merely suggestingimportant information sooner rather than later.
that these tools may be necessary, makes them the"Terrorists of adolescence" exist, and parents are
first to break that bond.equipped with the most powerful weapons in the
Consequently, advances in technology that makebattle. It's simply up to parents to use them wisely.