| What does it mean to be a Survivor? | | | | they don't want to hear it because they're afraid that |
| Today, with good counseling and therapy, former | | | | by admitting these things, they're giving up on the idea |
| victims of childhood abuse are called "survivors." Some | | | | of ever really healing or leading a productive life. I |
| people seem to think the fact that they're called | | | | believe the opposite is true, that it's actually beneficial |
| survivors, means they're all healed and everything is | | | | to the healing process. I think denying the fact that |
| perfectly fine now. This is not necessarily true. When a | | | | there are lasting effects from having a whole portion |
| person, especially a child, has been abused, they | | | | of your life destroyed, is actually preventing any real |
| definitely carry the scars for the rest of their lives. | | | | healing to occur. |
| When a child is abused day after day, the whole | | | | Any time a person survives something traumatic, it's |
| experience of just being a child is lost. There's never | | | | within reason to expect that it will continue to have an |
| any laughing or spontaneity, no giggling or acting silly, | | | | effect for a very long time afterward. I survived a |
| and never any cuddling or hugs. Just imagine what it | | | | Category 5 hurricane and it definitely, has had a |
| must be like to not be able to act naturally, as a normal | | | | profound effect on my life. For years I suffered from |
| child would, under any circumstance. This is what an | | | | nightmares and, to this day, I still get nervous when the |
| abused child is faced with every single day of her life. | | | | wind kicks up or I hear loud thunder. I know for a fact, |
| As she grows up, she really doesn't know what it is to | | | | surviving something as traumatic as that, has changed |
| be "normal." What comes naturally to most people has | | | | a part of who I am. |
| to be learned, step by step. Her emotions and even | | | | When a child has been abused, and had their whole |
| reactions to things never seem to be appropriate, | | | | childhood taken away from them, there are definitely |
| because as a child she was forbidden to express | | | | lasting effects. I know this for a fact because, not only |
| them. When she hears people talking about fond | | | | did I survive a hurricane, but I was also abused as a |
| childhood memories she can't relate, because she has | | | | child. I know what denial does. For many years I tried |
| no fond memories. Every single day, there seems to | | | | to pretend everything was normal and that nothing |
| be something that reminds her of the big chunk of her | | | | was affecting me, but it didn't work. I always felt so |
| life that's missing. | | | | torn apart, and it seemed the more I tried to fit in, the |
| Counseling helps, but a childhood abuse survivor is a | | | | more I felt alienated. |
| person whose whole perception "normal" was | | | | It has only been a few years since I stopped |
| distorted at an early age. Any psychologist will tell you | | | | pretending and started to accept the fact that I still |
| that every stage of life, from infancy to adulthood is | | | | have to face the demons from my past now and |
| vital to creating a well-balanced human being. If one of | | | | then. They continue to rear their ugly heads now and |
| those stages is interrupted or skipped completely, how | | | | then, but I'm much better able to deal with them now. |
| can that person ever hope to be whole? | | | | For me, accepting the fact that this is all a part of who |
| Most people don't seem to want to address or hear | | | | I am, has finally enabled me to become a whole |
| these things, especially "survivors" themselves. Maybe | | | | person and a real survivor. |