Child Abuse Survivors

What does it mean to be a Survivor?they don't want to hear it because they're afraid that
Today, with good counseling and therapy, formerby admitting these things, they're giving up on the idea
victims of childhood abuse are called "survivors." Someof ever really healing or leading a productive life. I
people seem to think the fact that they're calledbelieve the opposite is true, that it's actually beneficial
survivors, means they're all healed and everything isto the healing process. I think denying the fact that
perfectly fine now. This is not necessarily true. When athere are lasting effects from having a whole portion
person, especially a child, has been abused, theyof your life destroyed, is actually preventing any real
definitely carry the scars for the rest of their lives.healing to occur.
When a child is abused day after day, the wholeAny time a person survives something traumatic, it's
experience of just being a child is lost. There's neverwithin reason to expect that it will continue to have an
any laughing or spontaneity, no giggling or acting silly,effect for a very long time afterward. I survived a
and never any cuddling or hugs. Just imagine what itCategory 5 hurricane and it definitely, has had a
must be like to not be able to act naturally, as a normalprofound effect on my life. For years I suffered from
child would, under any circumstance. This is what annightmares and, to this day, I still get nervous when the
abused child is faced with every single day of her life.wind kicks up or I hear loud thunder. I know for a fact,
As she grows up, she really doesn't know what it is tosurviving something as traumatic as that, has changed
be "normal." What comes naturally to most people hasa part of who I am.
to be learned, step by step. Her emotions and evenWhen a child has been abused, and had their whole
reactions to things never seem to be appropriate,childhood taken away from them, there are definitely
because as a child she was forbidden to expresslasting effects. I know this for a fact because, not only
them. When she hears people talking about fonddid I survive a hurricane, but I was also abused as a
childhood memories she can't relate, because she haschild. I know what denial does. For many years I tried
no fond memories. Every single day, there seems toto pretend everything was normal and that nothing
be something that reminds her of the big chunk of herwas affecting me, but it didn't work. I always felt so
life that's missing.torn apart, and it seemed the more I tried to fit in, the
Counseling helps, but a childhood abuse survivor is amore I felt alienated.
person whose whole perception "normal" wasIt has only been a few years since I stopped
distorted at an early age. Any psychologist will tell youpretending and started to accept the fact that I still
that every stage of life, from infancy to adulthood ishave to face the demons from my past now and
vital to creating a well-balanced human being. If one ofthen. They continue to rear their ugly heads now and
those stages is interrupted or skipped completely, howthen, but I'm much better able to deal with them now.
can that person ever hope to be whole?For me, accepting the fact that this is all a part of who
Most people don't seem to want to address or hearI am, has finally enabled me to become a whole
these things, especially "survivors" themselves. Maybeperson and a real survivor.