Stop Csa

In the first part of this series we talked about how high conflict parents may falsely accuse you of child abuse. How terrifying it can be to be wrongfully accused and how it changes your case. But what happens when the call CPS? How can you "flip" that into a good thing?  In the first section we talked about how to turn a false allegation into a good thing, but how can you do that with CPS? I mean there are all kinds of scary stories about CPS taking children from parents, there is a stigma attached to being investigated, and this can be good how?  Let's look at charges of Child Abuse with CPS.  Again as in our first example the ex decides that you are getting far more custody,[..]

Abreaction is the discharge or release of emotional tension associated with a repressed idea, conflict, or memory. The term often implies the 'reliving' or vivid recall of a painful emotional experience. Now I am trying to explain with an example. When Zara was three years old her father slapped her across the front of her face so hard that he gave Zara a bloody nose. When Zara cried, her father said, 'shut up or I will give you a black eye to go with a bloody nose!' In psychoanalysis, thirty-year-old zara recalls the long-forgotten incident. It has been blocked or repressed from conscious memory for many years. Now Zara 'relives' the incident and cries again. She even tells her[..]

Children suffer from various kinds of abuse. They are very innocent and they do not deserve such kind of treatment. Children are abused at very tender ages. Sometimes, this abuse is deliberate and sometimes it is not. What can you do to ensure that you are not abusing a child? What precaution should you take when you notice abuse? Forms of abuse Many people imagine that rape is the only kind of abuse children can suffer. Yes, rape is just a form of emotional abuse. There is abuse like physical, psychological that children are usually subjected to. It is so sad that statistics on the abuse of children is rising. The abuse is not discriminative. It does not target girls or boys only. All[..]

One of the most difficult and challenging areas of the law are those statutes and regulations that govern child abuse or child neglect cases. Of course, the primary reason why child abuse and child neglect law is so challenging is because of the very subject matter. However, with that said, the procedures that are utilized by the courts in this area of the law are also rather complex on a number of different levels. Through this article you are provided an overview of the preliminary stages of a child abuse or neglect case, specifically what is involved in the issuance of a temporary custody order. In many jurisdictions around the country, child abuse and child neglect cases call under a[..]

Survivors of child abuse have a tough time on the issue of forgiving. Forgiveness is a process. The decisions and insights on forgiving come incrementally. I learned how to set limits and care for myself. I came to sense God's love and comfort, and to know that I am a child of God. 1. Forgiveness brings healing. I see that abuse affects all aspects of my life. I ask for healing in varying forms. "As I recognize the truth of my relationships, give me the strength to set limits and to stand solid in your affirmations, and to release me from misplaced loyalties as I allow myself to be reborn in your calling." "Forgive my shortcomings as I forgive those of others." 2. Forgiving yourself is[..]

o recognize that a child is being abused at home or by somebody else? You come across many children in your neighborhood. Have you ever thought about the abuse a child may be getting? Most of us do not, because we do not look for signs that tell us that a child is abused. If we can do that, we can save a child's precious childhood. Let us talk about that. If the child is undergoing physical torture, you may find the signs of that on child's body. The injuries may not be bandaged. Watch for a burn sign, or red marks of beating, or any other mark that tells you that the child has suffered them not while playing or by accident, but by deliberate torture. If needed, ask the child. He/she may[..]

Physical abuse in marriage is the act of inflicting pain on a partner in order to assert control over him/her. More cases of physical abuse in marriage involve the male partner as the aggressor than the female. Every year in the US, 2 to 4 million women are assaulted by male partners as against 800,000 cases of domestic violence perpetrated by women against men while 2,000 women are murdered by their current or former male partners in the US. The following are some of the underlying causes: 1. Lack of Church attendance. Religion especially Judeo-Christian faith has a way of tempering man’s aggressive nature and making him see his wife as a God-given complement to his person. A husband[..]

It has been said that no parent wants to harm their children because all parents love their children. True or not, there are at least two parents - parents who are loved by their kids and those who are not for some reason. One of the reasons could be child abuse or neglect. Here are some helpful suggestions for parents to help themselves and other parents eliminate the chance of causing any harm to children. 1. Be a model by being a good parent yourself. You are a good parent because your children need all the best love and care they deserve and not to show other parents that you are better than them. By being a good parent you automatically become an inspiration if you are concerned[..]

Reading good family books is a vital part of every child's development. From early childhood through teen years, stories shape the world and belief systems of girls and boys. Did you ever stop to think how those stories might be affecting pre-teen girls? April is Prevent Child Abuse Month. Child abuse is the direct result of a lack of respect for the dignity and potential of children. Nearly 80% of child abuse is caused by family members. But it does not end there. Children are verbally and emotionally challenged at school. According to Prevent Child Abuse America, nearly 160,000 children stay home every day because of bullying. Pre-teens are at special risk. In the United States alone,[..]

Imagine you are an Olympic swimmer who has qualified for the Olympics in four years. There's just one problem. You've completely let yourself go. You're twenty pounds overweight and you've got four years to train. You know what you need to do. You've got to eat better and whip yourself back into shape. You need more laps in the pool and more days at the gym. Ugh. That sounds hard. Maybe it would be easier to just continue down the path you're on and hope everything goes ok. After all, you did qualify. But you know deep down if you even want to have a chance at succeeding, you've got to make some changes. Time to toss out the Rocky Road ice cream in your freezer. You know it will be a[..]

I am here in the pediatric intensive care unit caring for a beautiful 5 year old diagnosed with a terminal cancer as her parents make every decision possible to prolong her life. Of course, I am not alone in this unit. In every other cubicle there is another nurse like myself caring just as deeply for another child. Some of those children are also terminal, while others have an acute illness or injury where recovery is expected. But in one of these rooms here tonight, there is an innocent infant who was born completely healthy. He didn't become acutely ill. He didn't get an unexpected terminal diagnosis. He wasn't in a car accident. He was shaken, squeezed, and thrown across the[..]

Marriages may break down for several reasons. The couple's finances may be in shambles, one spouse may have cheated on the other, or the spouses just may not get along anymore. Another leading cause of divorce is abuse. Though spousal abuse is often thought of as the only type of abuse that leads to divorce, this is not the case. In fact, when a couple has children, they may become the targets of aggression. Child abuse is a serious offense and is punishable by law. When one spouse is abusing the married couple's children, the other spouse may not know about it. Though the other spouse may have suspicions about child abuse, he or she may not be able to get the children to admit to any[..]

It has been established that nature and nurture should not be taken as enemies or total opposites, but as two intertwined realities that function together to make up the human experience. Nature was designed for nurture. Many recent and notable studies have documented the effects that early childhood experience can have on both the physical and chemical makeup of the brain. In particular, childhood abuse and/or neglect can permanently alter an individual's physiology. These physiological changes may lead to a greater likelihood of the person suffering from depression or anxiety later in life. Groundbreaking results from a major study of depressed women in the US have shown that women who[..]

Domestic abuse victims heal and transform themselves at different rates. You can tell when their recovery process remains in progress, yet to be completed. And if you are a domestic violence survivor, you know when you're still wearing that "I'm a Victim" hat. Here are some tell-tale signs that you are still fulfilling the role of victimization. If you catch yourself... 1) Looking for free lunch 2) Seeking to please other people for approval 3) Believing your actions "caused" another person's response 4) Assuming you are where you are, entirely because of the deeds of others 5) Expecting to uncover your own inner truth through another person's truth Now please take a deep breath and[..]

Survivors of child abuse have a tough time on the issue of forgiving. Forgiveness is a process. The decisions to forgive come incrementally. I learned how to set limits and care for myself. I came to sense God's love and comfort, and to know that I was a child of God. 1. Forgiveness from God is to feel loved, comforted, and treasured by the Holy One. Gradually I was able to accept a sense of God's love, comfort, and treasuring of me, even though I felt I was a "nothing."... "Beloved Creator, gently hold me. Let me know your love and comfort. Thank you for treasuring me even though I feel helpless and incapable." 2. My decisions to forgive came incrementally. Not only have I prayed to be[..]

Forgiveness is an integral part of the Lord's Prayer. Survivors of child abuse have a tough time on the issue of forgiving. I have struggled with this spiritual issue as I learn how to pray, and wish to share with you some of my thoughts and prayers. You will find that praying the Lord's Prayer in words from the heart is a blessing. 1. Forgiveness is not forgetting. The impairments we live with are real. It takes a life of healing work to transcend what imprisons us. The memories are with us. What happened to us is real. Recently I prayed, "Help me fully accept my gifts and redeem my devalued self as I recognize and ask for what I need." 2. Forgiveness does not require remaining in or[..]

Forgiveness is an integral part of the Lord's Prayer. Survivors of child abuse have a tough time on the issue of forgiving. I have struggled with this spiritual issue as I learn how to pray, and wish to share with you some of my thoughts and prayers. You will find that praying the Lord's Prayer in words from the heart is a blessing. 1. Forgiveness is not forgetting. The impairments we live with are real. It takes a life of healing work to transcend what imprisons us. The memories are with us. What happened to us is real. Recently I prayed, "Help me fully accept my gifts and redeem my devalued self as I recognize and ask for what I need." 2. Forgiveness does not require remaining in or[..]

Young teens are maturing in their brains. Times and circumstances that may have not bothered them as children begin to really bother them now. So much in child hood that was left dormant through the gift of childhood begins to surface. At around 13 or 14 when the body is undergoing real changes so is the brain. Be aware of the changes taking place. Thoughts increase and reasoning expounds to a new level of intellect. Many young people try to laugh off abuse and try to brush it off to push through the bad memories. Others are angry as I indicated in my last writing. The majority are crying on the inside afraid that if they show what's really on the inside they will be rejected by others[..]

What happens in our childhood for most of us is largely forgotten by the time we reach early middle age. We forget either because we just do, or because we screen it out. Fortunately, we can be encouraged professionally to recall much of it comparatively easily, if we wish to. It is now better understood how children learn to pattern themselves mentally and emotionally from an early age. The way individual children achieve this varies widely. Many of them form patterns of behaviour and set up emotional defences to enable them to cope with life in their family. The stimuli for this harmful process can be parental behaviour which can seem innocuous to outsiders. More than that, the[..]

Survivors of child abuse have a tough time on the issue of forgiving. Forgiveness is a process. The decisions and insights on forgiving come incrementally. I learned how to set limits and care for myself. I came to sense God's love and comfort, and to know that I am a child of God. 1. Forgiveness brings healing. I see that abuse affects all aspects of my life. I ask for healing in varying forms. "As I recognize the truth of my relationships, give me the strength to set limits and to stand solid in your affirmations, and to release me from misplaced loyalties as I allow myself to be reborn in your calling." "Forgive my shortcomings as I forgive those of others." 2. Forgiving yourself is[..]

Every citizen has the moral responsibility to inform the authorities if he or she suspects that a child is being abused. For some people it is mandatory to report suspected cases of child abuse. These include professionals like social workers, clergy members, educators, mental health professionals, doctors, and members of the law enforcement, but you too can make a complaint if you have reason enough to suspect that a child is being ill-treated. Before you lodge a complaint, you must understand that this is a serious matter, and hence you must have all your facts ready before you report child abuse of any kind. Make thorough notes of all details, like names, dates and all relevant[..]

The following factors increase the likelihood of a partner being abused in a relationship: 1. A woman who was abused as child can feel it is normal to get abused in life and so would not negotiate to be treated with respect by the husband. 2. A husband with violent temper and who is very possessive in nature might succumb to fits of jealousy whenever the partner associates with other males. 3. A woman that did not get love growing up from her father seeks love from any man that pretends to love her. Her judgment is impaired because she cannot distinguish true love from lust and so rushes in to marriage with a violent man. 4. A woman who married a man against her parents' wish becomes[..]

1. Sticks and stones won't break my bones" - and words won't leave any measurable physical damage, but they will cause progressive, long-term harm. Never underestimate the power of words: words are used to brainwash. Being told you are "stupid", "ugly", "lazy" or "worthless" is never acceptable. The first times you hear it, it will hurt, naturally. In time you "may get used to" hearing it from a partner. That's when you start to internalise and believe it. When that happens you are doing the other person's work of putting you down for them. This is why your feelings of self-worth suffer increasingly over time. The good news is that just as words have been used to bring you down,[..]

If you ever receive the unfortunate news that you are a suspect in a child molestation case then you will require the services of a child molestation attorney. This attorney is a specialist when it comes to defending a client who has been charged with this serious crime. If found innocent they are experts at saving your reputation and standing in your community. This is your best case scenario. Your chances of seeing this outcome increases greatly when you hire a child molestation attorney instead of your family lawyer or one recommended to you by a friend or family. I'll let you know from personal experience as working as a correctional officer for a state and military prison, child[..]

Do what you're called to do and the universe will support you. You've probably heard this, but may be scratching your head thinking about your bills, responsibilities and all of the what ifs... This is understandable. So rather than jump in with blind faith, I want to invite your everyday casual, rational mind to do what you're called to do. And then, address the missing link domestic abuse survivors commonly bring to the table. Doing What You're Called to Do Is Your JOB When you're doing what you're called to do, what happens?a) You lose yourself in what you're doing and the activity in many respects does itself. It's effortless. It's performed without strain or resistance of any[..]

Need help in establishing a routine for home-care? Begin with the dishes, kitchen counters, and the laundry. Abuse survivors are nurtured by clean and uncluttered living space. 1. As soon as you finish eating, rinse your dishes and utensils, and place them in your dishwasher. Each household member should be doing this for themselves. When your dishwasher is full, run it through. While the dishwasher is running, clean the kitchen sink(s). When the dishwasher has completed its job, put the dishes away. Children when they're about seven year old should be involved in clearing the table. As they become capable of rinsing dishes, then involve them. Same with placing dishes and utensils in the[..]

Abuse survivors benefit from living in clean and uncluttered living spaces. Here are tips for making room for having a place for your garments and linens. 1. Weed through drawers and closets to create space for clean garments and linens. You will need large boxes for this job. As you fill each box, label it "Recycle." Take these boxes you fill to Goodwill, St. Vincent de Paul, Salvation Army or other organization of your choosing. Phone and see if they do home pickups. Otherwise, you may find their collection boxes at various locations in your vicinity. If the garments or linens don't fit, are out of style, or haven't been used in the last ten months, get rid of them. They are taking up[..]

Women say, I was glad when he hit me, because I finally realized what was on my plate. I finally got it. This is abuse! Do you need the altercations in your home to become physical before you can see them for what they are? If so, you could be making your remedy more difficult, more debilitating, than you may imagine. Each time a verbal assault occurs, is neutralized, rationalized, forgiven, swept under the carpet, the elephant that forms under the carpet gets larger and larger and larger...until the day comes when it's so large we trip over it. Allowance for Verbal and Emotional Abuse The verbal attacks and emotional blows are simply another medium of battering. And some people will[..]

There are many common misconceptions when it comes to abuse. First, there is not just one type of abuse, there are lots of different kinds and it does not just come from a romantic partner, it can come from parents, other family members, friends, and even acquaintances. The most important thing for people to know is how to spot abuse and how to get help for themselves of for those around them when abuse has occurred. There are two main types of abuse, verbal and physical. Both of which need to be addressed immediately in order for there to be any chance of the person doing the abusing to stop. In a report completed by bail bonds NJ most of the time the person inflicting the abuse on[..]

Now here's a tricky topic if I ever heard one. How can you, a person outside of your loved one's abusive relationship, help her in any way? Is it possible to make her abuser behave differently? Nope. Is it possible to get her out of that situation?! Not without her consent. Is it possible to convince her she's being abused? Maybe, but until she's unwilling to put up with it anymore, she is willing to live with it and must therefore live with the consequences of her decision. As you're probably already aware, sometimes she knows and says that there's something wrong. Sometimes she'll even want to leave her abuser and come to you for help. But how many times has she asked for your help and[..]

Substance abuse prevention speakers take the topic seriously, but sometimes I wonder just how many others do? I suppose as a substance abuse prevention speaker who knows the pain and torment personally from an experiential level, I am more apt to see the danger in substance abuse and drunk driving. I grew up the son of a mother (a former high school cheerleader and honor graduate) who was an alcoholic and substance abuser. As a child I saw my beloved mother self-destruct and torment my grandparents as a result of alcoholism and using every drug imaginable. Ironically, my mother (a former drunk driver herself) was killed when crossing the road as a pedestrian when an 18 year-old drunk[..]

We all have our moments when we slide into that beaten down spot and find ourselves wallowing in thoughts that keep us there. It's as if one picks up where one's former batterer left off. When that happens, nip it in the bud. In the same way that you may quash a cold coming at its early onset (at the very first sign of it coming on), you arrest its progression. How to Nip It in the Bud 1) Be in and come from pure positive energy Come to know the experience of time stopping and inner elevated calm emerging from within. Let this be the wallpaper mood of your day. Acknowledge it when it's there and inspire it when it's not. 2) Choose to be centered over being right Sometimes our struggles[..]