20 Survival Tips For Victims of Domestic Violence

Did you know that approximately 25% of all murdersprovide you a temporary hiding place.o Hide or
nationwide are a result of a pattern stemming fromdestroy anything that might give a clue as to where
prior instances of domestic violence? It is a veryyou are going.o NEVER LEAVE A NOTE TO THE
serious problem affecting millions of householdsABUSER.o Pack a bag and keep it in a safe place or
nationally and contrary to popular belief and mediawith a family member.
stereotypes, men are almost as likely to be abusedKEEPING YOUR KIDS SAFE IN A DOMESTIC
as women by their partner or spouse. StatisticsVIOLENCE SITUATION:o Advise your children to
provided by the Family Violence Prevention Fundnever get involved in the argument or to put
state that more than three women will be murderedthemselves in the middle of a fight between you and
today by their husband or boyfriend.the abuser.o Show them how to get to escape to
Obviously, there is no guarantee of your safety ifsafety, call 911 and give emergency hotline operators
you are being subjected to domestic violence oryour address and telephone number so that law
choose to remain in an abusive relationship. However,enforcement may respond in a timely and accurate
even if you do not feel that you are able to leavemanner.o Advise them who else to call for help after
the abuser, there are steps you should take rightcalling the police.o If you have a court order, provide
now to protect yourself and help keep your childrentheir principal at school or their daycare provider a
safe. I would like to pass on the following survival tipscopy; they should be instructed never to release
to better insure your safety and your family'syour children to anyone without talking to you on the
well-being if you are in an abusive relationship.phone; provide them with a photo of the abuser.
SURVIVAL WHEN YOU ARE BEING ATTACKED INYOU HAVE RIGHTS! USE THE LAW:o Your local
THE HOME:o Avoid any confrontation in the kitchendomestic violence program will assist you in obtaining
or in bathrooms; the kitchen provides easy access toa civil protection order, finding an attorney and
weapons, such as knives and heavy blunt objectsprovide guidance regarding criminal prosecution of the
and bathrooms often have closets and other smallabuser.o In most states, you will find that a judge
spaces where the abuser can trap you.o Go to acan order the abuser to stay away from you or your
room in the house with a door or window and try tochildren; have the abuser banned from your
escape; lock the abuser outside if you can. A roomresidence, award you temporary custody of your
with a telephone for calling the police is also a goodchildren and order temporary child support.
choice.o Call 911 (or your local emergency number)Without question you must leave the abusive
immediately for help; teach your children to dial 9-1-1.orelationship. Do not expect family or friends to come
When a police officer comes, REPORT the attack.oto your rescue; you alone must take responsibility for
Seek medical attention if you have been injured.oyour own safety and the well-being of your children.
Take photographs of any injuries.o Contact a localMany victims of domestic violence often fall prey to
domestic violence program or shelter; they can alsoa "serial victim's mindset" and rationalize why they are
assist you in making a survival plan.being abused and will be abused in the future. Let go
PROTECTING YOURSELF AND YOUR FAMILY ATof the abuser's promises that he or she will change
HOME:o Emergency and hotline numbers shouldand his or her pleas of forgiveness for prior violent
always be handy and programmed into your cellincidents; those who are predisposed to assault loved
phone and home telephone.o Keep an extra set ofones bear sole responsibility for their actions and it is
house and car keys handy and hidden in a safe placenot your responsibility to rehabilitate them. Trying to
that is easily and quickly accessible.o Store money,"bring an abuser around" has gotten many hundreds
identification, medications and credit cards in a placeof thousands of people killed.
that you can also access quickly.o Plan an escapeYou do not have to be a victim. You do not have to
route and develop a procedure to contact police andbecome a statistic.
find a trustworthy friend or neighbor who can