| As we gather here today to mourn the passing of | | | | notice a decline in the sending and receiving of paper |
| words, may this also be a celebration of the joy | | | | greeting cards with personal notes jotted in them. |
| words have brought to souls over the ages. | | | | Why not just send an eCard? No stamps required; no |
| Countless poets, authors and song writers have | | | | trip to the post office necessary; no envelopes to |
| employed words to reach humans' minds, souls and | | | | lick; and, most of all, far less time and effort required. |
| spirits. And the beneficiaries of those words have | | | | And if the receiver never received them, oh well. We |
| savored them, rolling them over their taste buds as | | | | certainly did our part! |
| they envisioned dreams they never dared to dream | | | | But I think we would all agree that the biggest |
| before encountering these delectable words. | | | | tragedy of all came with instant messaging and |
| Millions have slipped words of comfort in their Bibles - | | | | texting. Simple three-lettered words were replaced |
| words inscribed by fountain pens on sheets of linen, | | | | by one letter! Sacrilege! "I'll See you later" became cul. |
| or on greeting cards written with exquisite fonts and | | | | "I'll be right back" became brb. "Parent looking over |
| expressions too beautiful to describe, at least not | | | | my shoulder" became pos. And "I'm rolling on the |
| without words. Grandchildren and Great-Grandchildren | | | | floor in laughter" became rofl. |
| have marveled at the luxurious penmanship of their | | | | Diseases were not immune to the languid minds in |
| ancestors as they read their family histories replete | | | | our society. Impossible to ignore if one watches |
| with anecdotal memories. Lovers down through | | | | television for more than fifteen minutes are ads for |
| history have treasured letters and notes of affection | | | | RLS, PAD, PMS, PMDD, ADD, ADHD, BPD, and the |
| and returned to them when their hearts were | | | | hits keep coming. Is it possible we could end up like |
| breaking. | | | | the cave people before us who relied on grunting and |
| When did the demise of words begin? Perhaps it was | | | | other repugnant bodily functions to communicate? |
| with the blasphemous philosophy that a picture was | | | | All of us attending this funeral are mourners of words |
| worth a thousand words. Why utilize words which | | | | lost to us as language de-evolved. We must take a |
| required spelling when pictures could be understood | | | | stand here today, midst these bouquets of words: |
| even by the illiterate? We began to notice traffic | | | | we will find a way to bring back real words - to |
| signs with indiscernible graphics instead of words. | | | | make them desirable to the masses! Stand and |
| Later, with the blessing of the internet, we began to | | | | proudly pronounce: LLW! WLF! BBW! |