| A common question people ask is what are some | | | | Responsibility to "fix it," or even holding the belief |
| practical ways to break the cycle of abuse? | | | | that one has the wherewithal to fix it. |
| First is identifying the syndrome | | | | The moment that happens, a window of possibilities |
| It is essential that you have identified the cluster of | | | | opens up. And from here, survivors assume power in |
| symptoms that defines domestic violence and | | | | the relationship and the ability to effectively break |
| understand how it lives in your life. Giving it a name is | | | | the abuse dynamic. |
| number one. | | | | Three is to have a source of support |
| If you don't do that what you end up doing is the | | | | The third ingredient and key to offsetting the roller |
| following. One day you are treating what troubles | | | | coaster that people experience when trying to break |
| you about your partner as though it's substance | | | | the cycle of abuse is having a source of support |
| abuse. Then, it looks like partner abuse. Then, the | | | | external to the relationship. And the operative word |
| next day you treat it like it's a narcissistic personality | | | | here is "external." |
| disorder. The day after that it could be intermittent | | | | Having a source of support is not sufficient, because |
| explosive disorder. | | | | you could have a source of support that actually |
| And you just go round and round and round. But | | | | talks you into believing that there is no |
| when you give it a name and see it in its full | | | | abuse-supporting your denial. |
| constellation, you can map out a clean and clear | | | | A source of support external to the relationship and |
| treatment plan to break the cycle of abuse. | | | | the relationship abuse dynamic, the surrendering of |
| Second is surrendering responsibility | | | | responsibility, and first and foremost the identification |
| The victim/survivor absolutely must surrender | | | | of the syndrome can be your roadmap to breaking |
| responsibility for the battering behavior. And by that I | | | | the cycle of abuse. |
| mean accountability for it and responsibility to it. | | | | |