| People ask me what kind of domestic abuse | | | | communication pattern, you see the subtleties of the |
| assessment screen helps someone who is abused to | | | | abuse dynamic unfold. |
| see the light. In providing assessments for thousands | | | | It's both subtle and significant. If s/he hears my "no" |
| of people, I'm convinced that a tool which reveals | | | | as a maybe and as a challenge to convert into a |
| the subtle communication patterns of abusive | | | | "yes," we see a lack of honoring the preferences of |
| relationships helps someone being abused to awaken | | | | the partner saying "no" and an obsessive compulsion |
| to their circumstances. Further, identifying these | | | | to control the outcome of the exchange. |
| subtle-and often unconscious-interaction patterns | | | | Further, if I'm aware that my "no" sounds like |
| helps the abused partner recognize what keeps the | | | | "maybe," then I am cognizant of my hesitation in not |
| abuse dynamic going and, from here, what stops it. | | | | fulfilling his/her request. As I look closer at that, I feel |
| Many people say they know they are in an abusive | | | | the basis for this hesitation. I see and feel the internal |
| relationship, but don't understand what maintains it. If | | | | dialogue that supports the domestic abuse dynamic. |
| that has been your experience, look at the subtle | | | | Your Personal Inquiry |
| communication patterns of abusive relationships and | | | | Now we could go on from here; however if you're |
| you will gain insight into the mechanism that sustains | | | | thinking of taking such a test, it would be best for |
| this dynamic. Seeing this will give you what you need | | | | your discovery to come from within. That will be |
| to stop the cycle and will insure your not engaging in | | | | more meaningful and more likely to move you |
| another abusive relationship. | | | | forward, as you will resonate with it from your own |
| A Closer Look at the Subtle | | | | personal experience. |
| For example, look at the interaction pattern and | | | | Without that inward inquiry, the description could |
| internal dialogue surrounding the subtle communication | | | | sound like a lot of psycho-babble. Trust me, it's not. |
| pattern of "when 'no' means maybe." When you feel | | | | Domestic abuse is quite real and is easiest to |
| your answers, from the core of your being, to | | | | acknowledge, and to abort, in its most subtle |
| domestic abuse screening questions addressing this | | | | manifestations. |