After the Abusive Relationship - Long-term Aid for Domestic Abuse Survivors

Do what you're called to do and the universe willstruggle with the most. And this, too, is
support you. You've probably heard this, but may beunderstandable.
scratching your head thinking about your bills,You see when you're living in an abusive relationship,
responsibilities and all of the what ifs...one of your survival mechanisms is to put forward
This is understandable. So rather than jump in withwhat your abusive partner needs to hear and see to
blind faith, I want to invite your everyday casual,keep peace in your home.
rational mind to do what you're called to do. AndThus, life in the abusive relationship is not about
then, address the missing link domestic abusesupporting and honoring what you love, but rather
survivors commonly bring to the table.discrediting what you love and grooming your
Doing What You're Called to Do Is Your JOBhonoring what your partner loves. In many cases,
When you're doing what you're called to do, whatthere is also a sting added to this grooming
happens?a) You lose yourself in what you're doing(conditioning) in which you may even be punished
and the activity in many respects does itself. It's(negatively rewarded for honoring that which you
effortless. It's performed without strain or resistancelove).
of any kind.b) Time stops as you do it and you feelFor example, in my own life, I can vividly remember
stress-free...at ease, and your performancehiding newspaper articles featuring my work, in
approximates excellence.c) Resources show up toprestigious publications, under the bed when I lived in
support what you're doing and the continuation ofan abusive relationship. Why did I do this? I did this to
your doing it.avoid the blowout that would follow my former
It's as though the universe wants you to be happy,abusive partner's discovery of my achievements and
is looking for excellence, and is willing to support thatrecognition by others.
which makes you fulfilled to also benefit thoseThe net result of this is you lose your inclination to
around you.honor what you're called to do and of course with
Domestic Abuse Survivors Doing What You're Calledthis comes the need to recreate the habit of
to Dohonoring what you love. As you invite this honoring in,
Now to do this that we're called to do, we must firstpractice it and enjoy it, then doing what you're called
know what that is and second honor it. This honoringto do becomes effortless, natural and plain good
part is what domestic violence survivors oftensense for yourself and for all those around you.