| "We have to learn to be our own best friends | | | | that you can't see it's him and not you!" My thinking |
| because we fall to easily into the trap of being our | | | | follows the lines of: This guy doesn't even have the |
| own worst enemies." -Roderick Thorp | | | | decency or respect, at the very least to say, "Gee it |
| In the last week I've come across several people | | | | was nice getting to know you and wish you well, but |
| who have found themselves in situations that didn't | | | | I moving on." |
| work out the way they wanted. They instantly | | | | Or, I would think, this guy doesn't even have the |
| blamed themselves! Wondering what is wrong with | | | | class to say goodbye or anything. This guy is a real |
| them that things didn't turn out the way they had | | | | player and he probably does this all the time. |
| hoped. | | | | I certainly wouldn't blame myself for not having what |
| Was it something I said, or did, or am I unattractive? | | | | it takes to hold onto the "Internet Man." Plus I told |
| What is wrong with me? Why did things just end, or | | | | her, just what you want; some guy whose hobby is |
| why didn't they even get started. | | | | to peruse the internet for people. That's what I'm |
| The most extreme example of this is women (or | | | | attracted to, NOT! |
| men) who are abused. Whether it's verbal, physical, | | | | The reality is that sometimes things simply don't |
| emotional, it doesn't matter. If someone hits you or | | | | work out the way we want. If you play the lottery |
| demeans you or tries to make you feel bad about | | | | and lose do you say, "What is wrong with me that I |
| yourself, incredibly these victims think, what did I do | | | | didn't pick the right numbers?" Do you blame yourself |
| wrong? Was it something I said or did that made him | | | | for losing? |
| hit me? | | | | Life doesn't always work out the way we plan or |
| They blame themselves as if it is their fault that this | | | | want but what good does it do you to take the |
| person would attack them. They actually accept the | | | | world on your shoulders and act as if it is all your |
| responsibility for being abused! It would never occur | | | | fault? Does it make you feel better about yourself or |
| to them that it isn't them at all. | | | | worse? |
| They would never think, what is wrong with him for | | | | I am not saying that you don't take responsibility |
| acting like an animal? What is wrong with him for | | | | when you do make mistakes, but Lord knows taking |
| being so cruel? What is his problem that he would | | | | responsibility when someone else makes the |
| think its okay to abuse me? "He has got to go," | | | | mistakes is a huge burden and one that you don't |
| would never enter their mind! | | | | need or deserve. |
| As I said this is the extreme, but let's take a more | | | | So if you are going to blame yourself for someone |
| common scenario, one which I have recently | | | | else's shortcomings or lack of integrity or their inability |
| witnessed. | | | | to treat people right, ask yourself, "Why would I |
| A friend meets someone online. They start | | | | blame myself for someone else's actions? Why would |
| communicating on a fairly regular basis, at his urging. | | | | I take their lack of decency and turn it against |
| They talk about everything and are even making | | | | myself, as if it is me and not them? |
| plans to possibly meet soon since they don't live near | | | | Know that you are a good, generous, loving person |
| one another. | | | | and if someone wants to act like a jerk, it's certainly |
| Then...out of the blue, he just stops all | | | | not your fault. Don't take the blame when someone |
| communication, cold turkey, nada, no more, finito. | | | | treats you poorly or does you wrong. It really is |
| She asks me, "Do you think it was something I said? | | | | them and not you. Wake up every day and thank |
| What did I do that he would just stop contacting | | | | God you aren't them! |
| me? Did he find someone better? | | | | The only thing wrong with you is thinking that there |
| I said, "Whhhaaatttt? Why would you think it was | | | | is something wrong with you. |
| you?" My automatic thought was what is his | | | | So, now that you know the truth, the next time you |
| problem? What a jerk to pull someone in, have fun | | | | are visited by a situation where you want to blame |
| getting to know each other and then just end it, in | | | | yourself for someone else's actions or their response |
| the blink of an eye, without the common courtesy of | | | | to you just don't do it and remember, sometimes |
| a goodbye. | | | | things simply don't work out the way we want and it |
| I said, "There isn't anything wrong with you except | | | | has nothing to do with you. |