| One of life's most difficult situations is when someone | | | | relationships, except between a parent and a child. |
| you love is no longer present in your life, especially if | | | | Even in the best of marriages, certain things are |
| that someone is a child. It's a given thing that | | | | expected from the spouses for their marriage to |
| sometime, as a parent, you and a child are going to | | | | work. Also, many studies have been done with |
| have a major disagreement. This so frequently | | | | abused children, even in the most horrific cases; the |
| happens with life transitions and as we approach | | | | child usually still feels love for the parent. So if you |
| retirement. | | | | dig down past the complicating emotions of fear, |
| Many Baby Boomers are experiencing this as their | | | | frustration and anger, you'll usually find that you do |
| adult children sometimes move back home. Maybe | | | | truly love your child and have to believe, that at |
| they are retiring from one career and wanting to | | | | some level, they love you. Again, what usually |
| start their own business, so children see a shift in | | | | confuses the situation are these three major |
| financial allocations. Possibly the "empty nest" | | | | emotions. |
| syndrome is finally hitting everyone; life is going to be | | | | Fear = fear that someone will be making a serious |
| different and change is hard. Being disconnected from | | | | mistake; fear that they will get hurt in some way. |
| someone you love is a very difficult, complicated and | | | | Frustration = frustration that you're opinion isn't being |
| an emotional situation. It can be draining, frustrating | | | | heard or considered, much less followed. Anger = |
| and hurtful on a daily basis. | | | | anger that comes from the fear and frustration. |
| The challenge is not to let this be fatal to your | | | | Anger that you are being discounted and, especially, |
| relationship. How many times have I heard a client | | | | the thought that you might have to fix or pay for |
| say "Well, if he doesn't do this, then he can forget | | | | something that you don't agree with. |
| asking me for anything!" "If she thinks I'm going to | | | | To repair a broken relationship with a child, first |
| stand for that, then she can just go her own way, | | | | decide and learn to believe that the love you want to |
| make her own mistakes and live with them!" These | | | | share with one another is the main goal. Understand |
| are "closing" statements that usually come from fear, | | | | and learn to deal with the fear, frustration and anger |
| frustration and anger. What's being discounted is that | | | | felt by you and everyone involved. Try to stay |
| the parent really loves their child and the child loves | | | | emotionally balanced when communicating. Stay |
| the parent. I know you have heard the therapy buzz | | | | focused on the main goal, be patient and let time |
| words "unconditional love". My personal belief is that | | | | heal. |
| there is no such thing as "unconditional love" in | | | | |