Becoming Emotionally Intelligent - The 6 Sides of Emotional Boundaries

Defining the Boundaries of Emotional Limits2. How Limits Help Prevent Codependency
Many of my posts have dealt with the issue ofIf you have a tendency to give over your power in
emotional edges. I have written about the In's andyour relationships then you are codependent. If you
Out's of Emotional Limits, How To Honor Yourdon't know where you begin and your partner ends,
Emotional Boundaries and Break Up With Grace andthen you are codependent.
Dignity, How to Keep Your Emotional Limits with3. Limits Protect Us From Settling for Less
Your Co-Workers, and most recently, How To SaySimply put, if we know who we are, and we know
"No" Guilt Free.what we want, then having clearly defined
In these articles I have touched on the variousboundaries means we can recognize when a
aspects of emotional boundaries but I have providedrelationship isn't living up to our standards.
for you a comprehensive definition of emotional4. Limits Help Us to Live Guilt Free
edges and what you need to do to develop theseSetting boundaries means we don't have to feel
boundaries in your own life.responsible for every bad thing that happens to us or
Although I have approached this subject many times,those around us. It also gives us permission to say
I keep hearing from you that you need more"No" without feeling guilty.
information. I have decided to develop an Emotional5. Limits Help Us Define and Recognize Love
Boundaries Primer. Over the next six weeks I willMany of us who have trouble setting our emotional
discuss in detail each of the 6 Sides of Emotionalboundaries also have trouble recognizing the
Boundaries from my point of view.difference between love and rescue. We often think
In my journey, I have undergone some divorcethat we can "fix" our partner. Having compassion for
therapy and sought healthy relationship help from mysomeone does not mean you are in love with them,
therapist. I recognize now what emotional edges are,although it may feel like love at the time.
when my boundaries are being violated and what I6. Emotional Boundaries Help Us To Live in the
need to do to get back on track.Moment
Often times this means having a frank conversationHow often have you trucked along in a relationship
with a loved one and redrawing the line in the sand. Itpretending everything was okay when in truth, it was
also means that you can do this without feeling guilty.not. Do you find you and/or your spouse
Earlier, I described emotional limits as elastic. I believeperpetuating the lie? Do you believe that if you break
they expand and retract with each of ourthe bubble, everything will fall apart?
relationships. The 6 Sides of setting healthy EmotionalEmotional boundaries are necessary for successful
Boundaries are:and healthy relationships. Emotional boundaries provide
1. How Limits Define Who You Arean elastic framework within which we can operate
Most of us live as chameleons. We often becomeand co-exist with others. A lack of emotional
the person we think we should be rather than ourboundaries leaves the door wide open for mental
authentic selves. We morph into a character toabuse, domestic abuse, spousal abuse and emotional
please our parents, boss, spouse, friends and evendependency. Emotional Boundaries are the ubiquitous
our children."line in the sand.