| One of the most common fears of adults who | | | | helpful actions you will take with a disturbed youth. |
| encounter distressed children is the concern that a | | | | That is, how and what you think about a child's |
| child's trauma will leave scars that cannot be erased. | | | | tragedy influences what happens next. Below are |
| There's no need to dance around the issue-childhood | | | | some therapeutic thoughts to guide your response to |
| trauma does create unwanted stress for its victims. | | | | distressed children: |
| Many children who were hurt at a young age are | | | | All people are hurt at various times in their lives, |
| disturbed and troubled as adults. But many formerly | | | | including childhood. |
| abused children thrive as they age. Indeed, some | | | | It is not possible for loving adults to protect kids |
| distressed children thrive because of life's traumas. | | | | from all harm. |
| Mind you, I am not advocating that trauma of any | | | | Children need the support of adults who can |
| kind is good. I am simply asserting that troubling | | | | simultaneously keep their cool and respond with |
| childhood experiences do not doom kids to defeat. | | | | appropriate care. (That's a hard one that requires |
| As a caregiver to a distressed child, keep in mind | | | | much concentration and effort.) |
| these simple thoughts: | | | | Ignoring a child's pain allows that pain to grow. |
| - All children go through ups and downs in life (so do | | | | Adults should take the lead in providing hurt kids |
| adults). | | | | a healing environment. |
| - Every child reacts to emotional trauma in a personal | | | | The adult's task is to create opportunities for |
| way according to his/her temperament. | | | | growth. The child must do the growing. (Think of the |
| - The effect of abuse or tragedy or pain depends in | | | | adult as a tender gardener and the child as fragile |
| part on factors adults can help relieve. | | | | vegetation.) |
| - Relationships play a key role in a child's capacity to | | | | In an intensely personal way, abused children |
| bounce back from harm. | | | | experience redemption when adults meet them with |
| - When children encounter adults who have a planned | | | | warmth, interest, and respect. In a wonderfully |
| response to their emotional needs, the chances for | | | | circular process, children who are met by caregiving |
| healing rise dramatically. | | | | adults can learn to love themselves. In time, they |
| Starting Points for Responding to a Distressed Child | | | | take charge of the recovery process. |
| To a great degree, your mindset determines the | | | | |