| Most any parent in a high conflict child custody battle | | | | I went a bit in depth because I want you to get |
| will likely have felt the sting of false allegations at | | | | your head around it. You will not likely get to explain |
| some point. These types of allegations are deeply | | | | it to the GAL, but if you understand the point you |
| disturbing and hurtful not to mention the harm they | | | | want to make and why, I think you'll be in good |
| can do to your custody visitation schedule. In some | | | | shape. |
| states a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) is used as an | | | | Now you should understand that if you go in and |
| advocate for the child when allegations have been | | | | say, "I'm concerned about the temporary visitation |
| made against a parent. The GAL's responsibility is to | | | | schedule and I'm willing to help in any way I can. I |
| investigate the allegations and make a | | | | would be happy to drug test for you today if that |
| recommendation to the court. | | | | would help. "I'm concerned that if she is angry |
| I recently had a request from a father to help him | | | | enough to falsely accuse me of using drugs instead |
| sort through the process of dealing with false | | | | of finding a way to cope with me, then I don't know |
| allegations being investigated by a GAL. Those | | | | how she would handle the child when they do things |
| allegations were, drug abuse, child neglect, and alcohol | | | | that remind her of me." the GAL should then make |
| abuse. Here is the advice I gave him. | | | | the connection from her allegations and to her. |
| You have three excellent things going in your favor. | | | | You see if you go with concern for your child, leave |
| 1: You don't do drugs. | | | | no stone unturned, I want to help, I'm not angry, I'm |
| 2: Your ex has repeatedly requested you take the | | | | just concerned about our child. That attitude alone |
| child in the past. | | | | should benefit you. |
| 3: Alcohol is legal (and you only drink lightly and | | | | Now let's do the list. |
| occasionally). | | | | #1 Suggest that the GAL present the mother with |
| Temporary visitation schedules have a way of | | | | the idea of court ordered random drug testing twice |
| becoming permanent. I would build my strategy | | | | per month at her expense (unless of course it's |
| around removing that temporary visitation barrier. | | | | positive). Make sure they tell her that she will be |
| First thing that you can do is ask the GAL f they | | | | required to pay that expense until the child is 18. |
| have come across any information that they would | | | | Suggest that the mothers reaction will tell them |
| like to ask you about or that they need clarification | | | | everything they need to know. |
| on. What you are looking for is dialogue that plays to | | | | #2 Take email, text messages, anything that shows |
| the known allegations or new allegations. You do | | | | she has asked you to take the child for additional |
| NOT want to be blindsided later on. | | | | time. (If this is part of a court process you may |
| Let's assume they ask you about drug abuse. Even if | | | | need to give copies of documentation to her before |
| they don't you should bring it up. You can tell them | | | | seeing the GAL - You can always add other stuff to |
| that you are not a drug user, never have been and | | | | her pack so that she can wonder what you're going |
| that this is a tactic by the mother. I would go so far | | | | to do with it?). The point here is that if she was |
| as to flip false the allegations to be concerned for | | | | really concerned about child neglect, drug use, |
| my child. I would suggest they are just like me and if | | | | drinking, these would have been issues years ago and |
| she cannot cope with me, then how will she react to | | | | she would not have asked you to spend more time |
| them as they get older? A legitimate concern. | | | | with your child. The things she has accused you of |
| The reason I bring that up is that allegations of | | | | did not pop up overnight. They are long term issues |
| abuse, drugs, alcohol, etc are taken seriously by the | | | | that she would have been well aware of. Also, |
| authorities. And rightly so. Appreciate their point of | | | | question why she didn't call child protective services |
| view. They aren't trying to be mean to you. They | | | | years ago? Was she really concerned? |
| just want to protect the parties from injury. As | | | | #3 I assume you don't have any DUI's. That being |
| concerned as they are about getting to the truth, | | | | said, offer to not drink when you have the child. |
| you can flip that and use that concern to your | | | | Period. No matter how much you love a beer or two, |
| advantage. | | | | figure out what's important to you. I'm guessing time |
| You see the point is that you can prove you don't | | | | with your child. |
| use drugs, using alcohol is a bit different but then it's | | | | What you should have done by this time is convince |
| legal, BUT the you have proof she has made | | | | the GAL that they need to talk to mom and |
| allegations. If she uses a tactic to pretend she is | | | | confront her to see her reaction. She will not want to |
| concerned about something she knows to be false, | | | | pay $100/month for a test she knows will be |
| then what other lengths will she go to? She has | | | | negative. Why do that when she can do nothing and |
| already tried to damage the relationship between you | | | | leave doubt? |
| and the child by making false allegations. Now YOU | | | | Finally, ask that you be given back the time you lost |
| have the legitimate concern that she has handed you. | | | | due to the investigation so that you can rebuild the |
| In many states false allegations can result in losing | | | | bonds with your child. |
| custody. | | | | |