Domestic Abuse, Are You A Hostage In Your Own Home?

Would anyone admit to a statement such as that?engaged to Olafson. Another woman started a
Why would anyone choose to stay in an abusivedefense fund for the robber's legal defense.
relationship?Eventually "the Stockholm Syndrome" was used as
How could one be a hostage in their own home?the explanation for a type of emotional bonding, that
Most would not look at their situation as one ofis in reality, a survival strategy for victims of
hostage, but then sometimes it may feel as if theyemotional and physical abuse-including not only
are "trapped."hostages, but also battered spouses and partners,
True, some admit to feeling like a prisoner in theirabused children and even POW's.
own home, but a hostage?Van Zandt suggests in his article: "If the victim of the
There could be an answer as to why some abusedabusive relationship is your child or a friend, you need
individuals stay in that type of environment.to remain supportive and not put even more stress,
An expert speaks about the "Stockholm Syndrome"pressure, and guilt on the abused individual. An abuser
Clint Van Zandt is an MSNBC analyst. During hiscan change, but he/she must want to change, and
25-year career in the FBI, he was a supervisor in thethe longer he is allowed to abuse, the less likely he is
FBI's internationally renowned Behavioral Science Unitto alter his behavior. If emotional or physical abuse is
at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA. He was alsopresent in a dating relationship, know that the abuser
the FBI's Chief Hostage Negotiator and has beenis a loser; the abuse will become worse as time goes
chief investigator in the search for Osama Bin Laden;by, so turn on your heels and move quickly away
was a leader of the analytical team tasked withfrom the influence of this person. Period!"
identifying the "Unabomber," and many other highSo, what should one do if they are trapped in an
profile investigations.abusive relationship?
In his article WHY WE LOVE THE ONES WHO HURTNot everyone in an abusive relationship can be
US, he tells of hostages who sometimes becomediagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome. However, it is
sympathetic to the hostage takers. As unbelievableespecially important for anyone leaving an abusive
as that sounds, there is an actual syndrome thatrelationship, to seek counseling, to spend a few years
explains the reactions of some, after being takenrebuilding self-esteem and finding a lifestyle that
hostage and abused and yet sympathizing with theteaches him or her that they should not allow abuse,
perpetrator. It is called "The Stockholm Syndrome."in any form, in their relationships. The attitude and
The name arose from a heavily armed bank robberexample that adults in their family, set for their
named Olafson, who took three women and a manchildren could stop the abuse factor in its tracks.
hostage in a Stockholm Sweden bank. He strappedBe there for a friend who is a victim of abuse
dynamite to their bodies and forced them into theIf you know of someone who is involved in an
bank vault. The man refused to negotiate with theabusive relationship, be there for them, encourage
police and held them hostage for 6 days.them, and suggest they seek outside intervention,
The shocking part of the situation was that one orsuch as counseling in self-esteem, and ultimately
more of the female captives were sympathetic withself-protection.
their captor and even admitted to consensual physicalCould they be a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome?
intimacy with him. Later, one of the women brokeLet them know that, "No one is born to be abused
her engagement to her intended and becameby another person!