| Domestic abuse victims heal and transform | | | | commonality in these five signs. |
| themselves at different rates. You can tell when their | | | | ...Do you see that they are all related? These five |
| recovery process remains in progress, yet to be | | | | tell-tale signs in combination-that is, as a cluster-reveal |
| completed. And if you are a domestic violence | | | | victimization just as the five red flags of intimate |
| survivor, you know when you're still wearing that "I'm | | | | partner abuse in combination define the syndrome |
| a Victim" hat. | | | | intimate partner violence. |
| Here are some tell-tale signs that you are still fulfilling | | | | Domestic abuse victimization, once established, |
| the role of victimization. If you catch yourself... | | | | doesn't wash away in the shower, nor do most |
| 1) Looking for free lunch | | | | people leave it behind themselves when they leave |
| 2) Seeking to please other people for approval | | | | their batterer. Healing victimization is a progression of |
| 3) Believing your actions "caused" another person's | | | | transformations that dismantle the pattern revealed |
| response | | | | in the five tell-tales signs of wearing the "I'm a |
| 4) Assuming you are where you are, entirely | | | | Victim" hat. |
| because of the deeds of others | | | | Now don't get me wrong here. I'm not implying that |
| 5) Expecting to uncover your own inner truth | | | | you are responsible for your abusive partner's |
| through another person's truth | | | | battering behavior toward you. This is not about |
| Now please take a deep breath and re-read these | | | | blame. It's about insight, ownership, responsibility, |
| five tell-tale signs again. This time see them as a | | | | understanding and transformation. |
| whole. Take your time to find the underlying | | | | |