Domestic Violence - Are You Afraid of Your Abuser?

Have you ever wondered why victims of abuse staythere to act as a buffer.
in the relationship?* You're afraid you'll be lonely. Your partner has
I can remember sitting in my chair watching a movieconvinced you that you're unlovable and you'll be
about abusive relationships with tears running downalone for the rest of your life. You know your
my face, wondering why that woman didn't leave.partner loves you because you've been told. But you
But then I looked at my life and I knew.aren't looking at the way your partner treats you.
You don't leave because you're afraid.You've accepted empty words and assumed they
* You're afraid your abuser will do something to hurtmean something. Do they?
you worse. You've endured maybe years of pain and* You fear living away from your controlling abuser.
agony at the hands of this person who hasThis one is probably the most difficult to accept. You
threatened you. Perhaps the threats have beenbegin to fear living apart from your abuser. You begin
subtle "I can't live without you." Or perhaps they'veto fear the open ended life you used to crave. You
been more intense "You'll never leave me, because I'llbegin to fear that you can't accomplish your dreams
find you anywhere."so you accept failure, the fear of achievement holds
* You're afraid you can't support yourself and youryou back.
children. You've been on your own and managedIf you feel you might be experiencing fear, you
quite well, but your abusive partner has convincedprobably are reading this and wondering what you
you that you can't support yourself without him orcan do about it...
her. You've been unable to hold a job, or to keep aYou have choices. You can make a different life for
good job in this relationship. Your abusive partneryourself. You can escape the abuse. Whether you're
manages, or rather doesn't manage the money, andbeing abused emotionally, physically, or in one of
you're always broke.many other ways, you do have the opportunity to
* You fear for your children. With child custody lawsescape right now. Report your abuser and get away
what they are, you fear that your abusive partnerfrom the abusive actions, distance is safety. Take
will get custody or liberal visitation with your childrenyour children and get away from the abuse. There is
and you fear that they may be injured if you aren'thelp.