| I often hear people ask, "How do you leave an | | | | can only be accomplished by you. |
| abusive relationship?" I have one easy answer to this | | | | 2) Holding onto the promise that your former partner |
| question: quickly and quietly! | | | | will come around and maybe even apologize. Whose |
| More important is what we carry on the way out. | | | | business is that? His/her apology and remorse has |
| Far too often domestic abuse survivors bring into | | | | nothing to do with you; rather it has everything to |
| their exile enemies as dangerous as the batterer they | | | | do with him/her, only him/her. |
| left. And then they wonder why they are so fearful, | | | | 3) Continuing to see the world through "I'm battered" |
| depressed, empty and often times re-victimized by | | | | eyes. The psychological projection-whether blatant or |
| those who hold out a helping hand. | | | | subtle-will trip you up every time and interfere with |
| If you are anticipating leaving an abusive relationship, | | | | new life emerging. Be mindful of the fact that our |
| consider avoiding the three deadly mistakes that | | | | inner world creates our outer world. And if you |
| domestic abuse victims frequently make in seeking | | | | maintain the abused status quo mindset, you will |
| safety. Look at them below carefully and make a | | | | re-create victimization again and again. |
| conscientious effort to build into your exit plan sound | | | | I'm convinced that if you spend more time and |
| solid ways of dismantling the following: | | | | energy on insuring that you don't do these three |
| 1) Expecting others to save you, salvage your life | | | | deadly mistakes, your entrance into safety will read |
| and usher you into dignity, honoring and respect. All | | | | like the ending of a safe, satisfying happy fairytale. |
| of these are an inside job. They are your job and | | | | |