Domestic Violence Therapy: When Marital Therapy Helps And When It Hurts

There is a lot of confusion over whether maritalfor the victimized partner.
couples therapy will help couples in abusiveIf you have tried marital therapy and notice that the
relationships.abuse in your home escalates after your therapy
You may have heard that marital therapy is not thesessions, then you are best to find an alternative
proper modality for domestic abuse. Even stronger,solution to remedy the abuse in your relationship.
you may realize that marital therapy is actuallyChances are you and your partner are better suited
contra-indicated in the treatment of intimate partnerfor a treatment intervention that addresses battering
abuse.and victimization separatelyindividually.
Then, you may also realize that some couples whoWhen Marital Therapy Can Hurt or Help Abusive
deal with abusive control issues in their relationshipRelationships
can learn to develop new skills to facilitate their useIf it is the case that your couples therapy appears to
of non-violent and non-abusive behavioral responsesgive your battering partner a stronger edge in
with their intimate partner.maintaining his/her abusive control, recognize why this
With this apparent contradictory information, oneis so and you will be best guided to the proper
remains confused as to whether marital therapyintervention for your relationship.
works or does not work. Does marital therapy helpMarital therapy is based on a systems approach. The
or hurt in the treatment of domestic violence?goal of the therapy is to maintain the homeostasis of
When Marital Therapy Can Helpthe system. Each party in the relationship is part of
Marital therapy can help couples in which there isthe system, and the responsibility for marital discord
interactional relationship violence. That is when theand dysfunctional interaction is spears across the
abusive control dynamics go both ways between thesystem.
parties.The problem with this approach, when treating classic
At one time, one of the people uses power andunidirectional intimate partner abuse, is that it
control tactics, and on other occasions the otherdemands that the victim assume partial responsibility
party employs the same tactics of abusive control.for the battering behavior. Moreover, it gives the
These dynamics continue within the relationship withperpetrator permission not to become accountable
the partners merely alternating roles of perpetratorfor his/her use of power and control tactics in the
and victim.relationship. The net result strengthens the abuse
For the marital/couples therapy to work as andynamic, rather than interrupting the cycle of abuse.
effective intervention with these couples, it mustIn the case of interactional relationship violence in
have both a psychotherapeutic component and awhich the use of power and control tactics goes in
domestic violence corrections component.both directions, couples can come to see the impact
When Marital Therapy Can Make It Worseof their mutual behavior on one another. Under these
Alternatively, if the couple is dealing with classiccircumstances, marital therapy gives a voice to both
"intimate partner violence," marital therapy will notparties and can be a platform to facilitate change
work to remedy their dysfunctional relationship.within the relationship.
That is, if the abusive control dynamics go in oneWhat Therapy Is Right for Your Abusive Relationship
direction, and one direction only, as in the case ofIf you are in an abusive relationship, take a hard and
intimate partner violence, then marital therapy is notfast look at the dynamics that you live. Ask yourself
indicated and will not alleviate the abuse dynamics.these two very important questions: Are there one
If there is one abuser and one victim and bothor two victims? Are there one or two abusers
parties consistently operate from their respective("control freaks") in your relationship? ...Your answers
position, marital therapy can serve as a platform toto these questions will guide you to the proper
exacerbate the battering dynamic...posing greater riskcourse of treatment for domestic abuse.