| More than often, spouses try to impose their will | | | | impose his/her will over the victim. He/she may take |
| over one another by resorting to negative criticism, | | | | recourse to actively spying over the victim and may |
| threats and insults. Yet, all this is done in the name of | | | | openly question his/her loyalty towards marriage. This |
| co-operation and love. It is a fact that emotional | | | | is invariably accompanied by unreasonable demands |
| abuse is a common denominator in many marriages. | | | | on him/her. The chain of events may include checking |
| However, the irony is that most of the times both | | | | on the victim, depriving him/her of any transport or |
| the abuser and the victim are unaware of the fact | | | | means of communication, enquiring about his/her daily |
| that their marriage is marred by emotional abuse. | | | | routine, criticizing his/her friends and relatives and so |
| This is because emotional abuse often means one | | | | on.b) Verbal Abuse |
| thing to the victim and another to the abuser. Both | | | | By verbal abuse we often understand yelling, |
| the abuser and the victim play an important role in | | | | shouting and calling names, which is very true. |
| this vicious cycle. On the one hand, the abuser is | | | | However, many a times the abuser may not be that |
| both a coward and a bully at the same time. He/she | | | | blatant in his/her modus operandi and may take |
| exposes his/her partner to such an inhuman | | | | recourse to a subtle approach by using tacitly insulting |
| treatment because he/she is sure that there will be | | | | or humiliating remarks. The basic motive is to |
| no serious repercussions for this act on his part. On | | | | undermine the victim's sense of self worth and |
| the other hand, the victim, often due to ignorance or | | | | shatter his/her self esteem. Verbal abuse may also |
| for the sake of the marriage plays the role of a | | | | include insulting and criticizing the victim's family, name |
| passive martyr. | | | | calling, being sarcastic, making threats, blaming, etc.c) |
| What is needed is a heightened level of awareness | | | | Financial Abuse |
| on the part of both the spouses to save each other | | | | Financial abuse is an extension of the emotional abuse |
| from this common vice. Any constructive relationship | | | | where the abuser uses money as a tool to gain |
| has to be based on mutual respect and understanding | | | | control over the victim. The abuser may deny |
| and a genuine concern for each other's views, beliefs | | | | appropriate financial freedom and support to the |
| and opinions. | | | | victim or may place unrealistic financial responsibilities |
| What is Emotional Abuse? | | | | on his/her shoulders. The abuser may exhibit |
| Emotional abuse often comes in the form of a bulky | | | | financially irresponsible behaviour so as to disturb or |
| package. It involves a variety of behaviors aimed at | | | | confuse the victim. |
| battering the heart and the soul of the victim so as | | | | Emotional Abuse is Worse than Physical Abuse |
| to gain effective control over him/her. The various | | | | Though emotional abuse unlike physical abuse does |
| attributes of emotional abuse are:a) Isolation | | | | not leave us with bruised eyes and swollen faces, still |
| Many a times the abuser tries to socially isolate the | | | | it is worse than physical abuse. The victim often fails |
| victim so as to make him/her dependent on himself | | | | to realize that he/she is being abused and may have |
| herself for his/her basic social needs and aspirations. | | | | his/her mind and soul bludgeoned to an extent where |
| A series of restrictions and controls are imposed | | | | he/she may consider himself/herself responsible for |
| over the victim, to gain control over his/her social life. | | | | his/her plight. |
| It is the abuser who often decides about the | | | | Is Divorce a Solution? |
| persons with whom the victim will interact and the | | | | In the long run, emotional abuse may seriously |
| friends with whom he/she will socialize. Any external | | | | damage a person's mental and physical health. Under |
| social support system imposes a threat and a | | | | the British Law, emotional abuse is a valid ground for |
| challenge to the abusers authority over the victim. | | | | divorce and comes under the ambit of unreasonable |
| The abuser may often deliberately insult the victim's | | | | behaviour. You have every right to protect yourself |
| friends and relatives so as to scare them away. The | | | | and your children from the long term damage of |
| abuser may resort to emotional blackmailing, mood | | | | emotional abuse, even if it involves going for a |
| swings, tantrums and denial of communication to | | | | divorce. |