Empathy From a Narcissist? Forget It

Empathy is a quality of the heart and mind thatdevelops the capacity for empathy.
enables us to feel deeply into the emotional, mental,"On the surface, the empathy of the narcissist
and physical state of another human being. Anseems to be genuine...Pseudo-empathy is exquisitely
empathic individual is capable of putting himself indesigned by the narcissist to manipulate others so
another person's place and of deeply caring aboutthey will fulfill his narcissistic needs."
him. Empathy is a special attunement to the uniqueThe narcissist puts on an impeccably convincing
experience of another person. With empathy comesperformance, fooling many people. He is a masterful
compassion and respect for someone other thanactor. People want to believe that the narcissist really
oneself. An empathic individual understands andcares about them, especially when he/she turns on
embraces what the other person is experiencingthe magnetic charm and fixates all of his attention on
even though this has not been his life experience.you. There is always a reason why a narcissist
The roots of empathy begin in early childhood withextends himself to someone else. He is expecting
loving parents who are sensitive and responsive toyou to fulfill his narcissistic supplies for admiration,
the needs of their child. The child experiences howbusiness connections, money, the company of an
uniquely and deeply his parent(s) are capable ofattractive man or woman, social status.
understanding how he feels. As the child develops, heWhen a narcissist is turning on the pseudo empathy
internalizes the love and care with which he wasat full speed, remember that you are in charge:
treated. Parents teach their children by their example1. Insist that the narcissist respect your personal
and directly that being attuned to the feelings ofpsychological boundaries
others is a valued characterlogical trait, an essential2. Tune into your well honed intuition that will override
part of being a compassionate human being. Therethe narcissist's clever manipulations
are some individuals who were treated abusively or3. Empower yourself as a unique human being of
neglected as children who are empathic adults. Invalue and integrity
some cases the child had a close relative---a4. Be grateful---you have the capacity for empathy,
grandparent, aunt, uncle, family friend, a teacher whoa gift that makes us fully human.
was empathic. From these special individuals the child