| When children go away to college and get away | | | | children. |
| from "who and what" the controlling family members | | | | On this note...know it was never about them anyway. |
| want them to be, a window opens up. What they | | | | Rather, it's about you and the strength you bring to |
| discover is their essence. Now here's the gem... | | | | the table to endure the challenges before you. |
| That essence is a composite of their formative | | | | Healing Comes from Within |
| years. If you were in their lives during this time, good | | | | A dear friend reading the above, written as a |
| chance you can slip back in and they can be in yours. | | | | self-contained article, noted how important and |
| 3 Keys to Healing Parental Alienation | | | | powerful those 3 keys are. And further she pointed |
| There are some key things you will want to do and | | | | out, how helpful those words would have been for |
| things you'll be best avoiding in order to rekindle your | | | | me to hear when I first encountered parental |
| relationship with your children if you are an estranged | | | | alienation. |
| parent. | | | | I thought to myself, had these words been told to |
| 1) Focus on what you have, and what you had, with | | | | me, I would not have heard them...not deeply and |
| them; not what you don't have or what you missed. | | | | certainly not from the place that the healing I needed |
| To help you maintain this focus, find points of shared | | | | could embrace them. |
| sweet sentiment and build out from here. | | | | Healing Is a Process |
| 2) Trust that they don't need to understand all the | | | | No one could have told me those words with the |
| elements surrounding your absence to feel their love | | | | same healing impact that they represent. Those |
| for you and yours for them. It is already there. | | | | words were the telling of me to me...of my |
| Always know these so-called "elements" of your | | | | process...of my process of coming to grips with all |
| story must be digested as they can be | | | | that I encountered over the last decade. |
| assimilated...and not a moment before. | | | | My hope for you is that these words spark your |
| 3) Don't expect them to give you back what you | | | | healing process...your mending from family violence |
| lost. They can't. They don't hold what you lost, as | | | | and legal domestic abuse. |
| they lost it too. | | | | Healing is not something done to someone, healing is |
| If you are reading this, I assume you are (or know) | | | | done from, and within, someone. Honor, support and |
| a battered mother who weathered battling the | | | | find ways to facilitate your healing-for yourself and |
| system to secure justice for yourself and your | | | | for all those whose lives are touched by you. |