| When you are the friend of someone in an abusive | | | | access should that be needed. |
| relationship, stop and hold reverence for the blessing | | | | 3) Suspend any and all judgment of your friend for |
| that you are. Why? You are the best person to help; | | | | being in the abusive relationship. |
| that is, until you can get her/him to professional help. | | | | 4) You serve as the trust factor and get a credible |
| We find when friends of domestic abuse survivors | | | | source to serve as the information resource and |
| reach out on their friend's behalf, they are in the best | | | | change agent. |
| position to create a positive outcome for the person | | | | 5) Open eyes with information, but be mindful of the |
| being abused. | | | | possible consequence of your being estranged from |
| First of all, friends that still have access to domestic | | | | your friend by doing so. |
| abuse survivors have the best leveraging | | | | 6) Keep your feelings of frustration out of the |
| ability...certainly more leveraging than parents of the | | | | picture, and lead from your love and concern. |
| abused. | | | | 7) Always know that change is an inside job and no |
| By leveraging, I mean they can touch the life and | | | | one can, or should, take the role of change agent for |
| soul of their battered friend using their friendship as | | | | another, unless that is one's profession and they |
| the vehicle for their concern. Friends tend to come to | | | | have been recognized for such by the person longing |
| the table with less baggage and far fewer hidden | | | | for change. |
| agendas than do the parents of the abused. At least, | | | | Appreciate that you and your friend are blessed with |
| this is how the abused party perceives it. | | | | your eyes being open. No matter what, don't give up |
| So as a friend, how can you help your friend? | | | | on your friend. That's what friends are for...to be |
| 1) Maintain ongoing, and as usual, contact with your | | | | there when needed most! And always know you can |
| friend. | | | | influence the path of the silent insidious syndrome of |
| 2) Give her/him access to you, especially emergency | | | | domestic violence before it spirals out of control. |