| First, I would point out there are times when they do | | | | OK! Here the double message? It reinforces the |
| not think, They react. They may regret it later, but it | | | | unimportance of children's emotions, while it excuses |
| won't be long until a new provocation triggers that | | | | the bad behavior of the parents. "We have no |
| same reaction. If drugs (including alcohol) are involved, | | | | problems in our home except for your behavior. If |
| then there is little thinking involved. The thought | | | | you would just 'be good' we could be 'The Brady |
| pattern of abusing parents is usually passed down | | | | Bunch'. You and only you are responsible for our |
| from one generation to the next. What children | | | | financial problems, our marital problems, and for our |
| observe is more powerful than what they are told. | | | | inability to control our anger." |
| Therefore, if they observe these skewed thought | | | | What a horrible weight of responsibility is placed on |
| patterns through behavior, they are absorbed quicker. | | | | children with this attitude! More than likely, little girls |
| "Adults are more important than children. Our feelings | | | | growing up in this atmosphere will become |
| are important. Yours are not." Guess what kind of | | | | codependent women who keep picking men that |
| mother this little girl will grow up to be? A belief of | | | | need "fixing". Little boys will become men who either |
| unimportance will not make her tolerant of childish | | | | run from responsibility or are extremely controlling. |
| behavior. "There are different rules for parents than | | | | It does more harm than good if a daddy tells his |
| for children. It is acceptable for us to act | | | | daughter, "I love you" one minute, but the next is |
| inappropriately in order to make you act | | | | telling her how "bad" she is. Will she grow up thinking |
| appropriately." | | | | the only way to be loved is to be bad? |