How to Eliminate Abuse

I recently had a conversation with a woman whosupport groups, my "abuser" didn't change his
was seriously contemplating the somewhatbehavior. The minute I made the decision to change
philosophical topic of how to 100% eliminate abuseme, and remove myself from that relationship, the
from our society. She and I didn't see eye to eye onabuse stopped. It simply stopped.
this subject. However, it was a great conversationBeing a victim is a state of mind - much more then it
none the less.is a state of being. Like it or not, it's a choice. Now, I
Now let me preface this topic by saying a couple ofrealize that is a controversial statement. However,
things. First I would like to define abuse as any actthere is no denying it's true. It seems clear to me
that is intended to harm emotionally, mentally, orthat in order to stop abuse we have to quit
physically. Secondly, I do not believe this is a gendertolerating it. What would happen collectively, if as a
issue. Some of my male readers occasionally say tosociety we simply stopped tolerating abuse? What
me that I am unfair to the male species. I want towould happen if as individuals we simply quit tolerating
state for the record that I have a family memberit by leaving the room or leaving the relationship?
who was a victim of a domestic violence homicide,I honestly believe it is just that simple. We chose
and his name was Uncle Duane. So, I don't thinkwhat we are willing to accept and train people how
abuse is a one way street. I certainly don't disliketo treat us. We get out of relationships what we are
men, I dislike mean people, whether they are men orwilling to accept, more simply put, what we are willing
women.to settle for. I implore you, today, to help stop abuse
All of that said, in our conversation about eliminatingin our society once and for all, by making a sacred
abuse, my friend really believed that in order to dovow to yourself. "As of this moment, this day, I am
so, we would have to eliminate the abusers byno longer willing to be abused. As of this moment I
helping them change their behavior. I believe it wouldwill stand in my power. I will claim my power as a
be much easier to modify the behavior of theDivine being. I chose to live in love, only being loved,
"victims". Having been a "victim" of domestic violenceonly giving love."
myself I can say with great certainty, that I was,No victim-hood there - no abusers either. Problem
am, and always will be responsible for my ownsolved.
experience. Through begging, pleading, counseling, and