| Whether you are abused or think you may be, there | | | | fighting a powerful abusive enemy, and he wants to |
| are steps you can take to resolve your confusion | | | | keep you fighting his game. You'll need all the help |
| and help you to navigate toward your personal | | | | you can get. Your silence is his most powerful ally. |
| solution. | | | | - Discovering your abuser's abuse cycles helps you |
| You are not at fault; realizing that you cannot and do | | | | learn to trust your gut instinct again - fear is truly a |
| not control the abuse OR your abuser is priority | | | | gift. Abusers are not as "unpredictable" or "out of |
| number one. You cannot "help your abuser" or | | | | control" as they would like you to think. They often |
| "mother" him out of abusive behavior. You cannot | | | | plan their attacks in advance, but blame the violence |
| change him, although he may choose to change | | | | on you. |
| himself as a consequence of your new-found healthy | | | | - Designing a safety plan is a must whether you think |
| behavior! | | | | you'll leave the abuser or plan to stay with him. Your |
| These four steps will help you clear your thinking | | | | safety plan will give you the peace of mind that |
| after weeks or even years of abuse: | | | | comes with knowing you can leave when and if you |
| - Becoming informed about what constitutes verbal, | | | | must. |
| mental and emotional abuse and the control methods | | | | Over time, you've likely developed some side-effects |
| your abuser uses against you is the first step. | | | | of abuse that are inhibiting your ability to exercise |
| Recognizing abusive behavior and putting a name to | | | | personal choice and freedom. The beauty of these |
| his control methods will help you to see your situation | | | | first four steps is that they create and support |
| and your abuser in a new light. | | | | confidence and strength - two characteristics that will |
| - Reaching out to friends, family outside your home, | | | | help you to say goodbye to abuse and/or your |
| and resources in the community is paramount! You're | | | | abuser once and for all. |