| It is very good to determine well before courtship | | | | spouse for which you might spend the rest of your |
| and marriage how you want your marriage to be. | | | | life in jail. The effects of domestic violence on your |
| Your early preparation has a way of making you | | | | children such as loss of respect for your wife, |
| know the qualities you want in your spouse. The | | | | likelihood of your sons walking in your footsteps and |
| closer a spouse is to your ideal, the less the | | | | your daughters developing abhorrence for marriage. |
| adjustment you would make after marriage and the | | | | These are enough reasons to deter a man from |
| lesser the chances of friction in the relationship. If a | | | | physically abusing his wife. |
| man wants his home to be the cradle of comfort | | | | 8. Acquiring conflict resolution and problem solving |
| which God designed it to be rather than a hot bed of | | | | skills. These will teach you how to disagree on issues |
| violence which it has become in many marriages, | | | | without turning violent; you will also learn how to |
| there are certain attitudes he must adopt and others | | | | respect and accept the views of your wife without |
| he must drop to make his relationship with his wife | | | | loss of face. If your wife is meant to complement |
| wonderful. The following are the strategies: | | | | you, it follows that there are times you may not |
| 1. Be faithful to your marital vow in which you | | | | share the same views on issues. |
| promised to love, honor cherish and protect your | | | | 9. Have shared interests. Develop some common |
| wife till death brings about a separation. Do things | | | | interest with your wife such as writing books or a |
| that reinforce your commitment to your marital | | | | business venture. The fact that you are doing things |
| vows such as seeking the good of your wife always. | | | | together has a way of bringing you closer and |
| 2. Take your wife the way she is. Adults do not | | | | making you more dependent on one another. |
| change easily; the more you work on changing your | | | | 10. Add value or invest in your wife. If your wife has |
| wife, the more frustrated you might become and the | | | | an ambition of furthering her education after marriage |
| closer to abuse you would get by the day. It has | | | | or upgrading her skills in any trade, give her all the |
| been said that before marriage, keep your eyes wide | | | | necessary support. She would not only be indebted |
| open to see if your fiancee is the person you want | | | | to you, but will honor you for the input in her life. |
| to spend the rest of your life with; after the nuptial | | | | 11. Change your environment if need be. If you are |
| knots are tied, keep your eyes half closed so that | | | | unhappy at your place of work, you may need to |
| you will not see things that will provoke aggression in | | | | change job because your unhappiness could translate |
| you. | | | | in to violence at home. If there are extended family |
| 3. Have the attitude that you are appointed to be a | | | | members who stoke the embers of aggression in |
| blessing to your wife. In this way you will be more | | | | you, cut off the links with them and stick to your |
| preoccupied with how you will be a blessing to her | | | | wife. |
| everyday. Physical abuse is so destructive that it | | | | 12. Allow the Gospel of Jesus Christ to come in to |
| would not feature in your home when your concern | | | | your life and bring about a change in you. The Gospel |
| is to make your wife happy. | | | | will bring a purpose and clarity of vision to your life |
| 4. Dispel any utilitarian concept of marriage in you. Do | | | | that will enable you handle your personal issues |
| not enter marriage with the hope that your wife will | | | | without resorting to violence. |
| enable you achieve those things that have eluded | | | | 13. Learn relaxation techniques such as deep |
| you so far in life; this will breed frustration as she | | | | breathing, listening to cool music and meditation on |
| might not have that ability to do your wish. | | | | the word of God when you are under stress. |
| 5. Keep working on anger management or control in | | | | 14. Avoid the company of men who physically abuse |
| your life. If you have problems with managing anger, | | | | their wives. Bad company corrupts good morals; |
| seek professional help or better still spiritual help to | | | | rather seek the company of happily married men |
| overcome it. | | | | from whom you would learn good values in spousal |
| 6. Improve on your communication skills. Develop a | | | | relationship. |
| pattern of communication that is devoid of violence | | | | 15. Learn to use humor and laugh at your self at |
| both in speech and in action. Learn to appreciate your | | | | times. When you take life too seriously, it could laugh |
| wife for who she is and for the added value she has | | | | at you. Learn to live with those things you cannot |
| brought in to your life. | | | | change while doing your best to handle issues within |
| 7. Think of the evil consequences of wife physical | | | | your ability. |
| abuse such as causing accidental death to your | | | | |