How Understanding Child's Play Can Help You If You're an Abuse Survivor Struggling in Relationships

Have you ever watched a group of children playing 
together?  There's so much energy and so muchThe good news is that even if you missed out on
smiling. There's lots of running around, and thenthis as a child because you were abused, you can still
inevitably, somebody starts crying.  Someone getslearn to do it as an adult.
mad.  There's a bit of emotional chaos.  SometimesFirst, you can enroll in therapy if you haven't
a grown-up has to step in and sometimes the kidsalready.  I suggest trying to find a therapist that
work it out themselves.practices cognitive-behavioral therapy, as that
 particular style of therapy works on helping you
You might call it child's play.develop skills to change your thinking patterns and
After all that's what children do.  They run around,your actions, which is how you change anything in
they have fun, they quarrel, and then they get upyour life.  A good therapeutic relationship helps you
and do it all over again.  But there's something a bitrebuild a sense of trust in yourself in the world and
deeper going on that most of us don't even realize. helps you relearn how to relate to others in a healthy
It's the learning of how to handle the ups and downsmanner.
of relationships.  It's a vital skill. 
 Secondly, once you have a secure trusting base (i.e.,
It even goes on with preschoolers.therapy) you can begin to branch out and make new
Researchers noted that at the start of a schoolconnections.  Try new activities that interest you
year, preschoolers who are the most outgoing andand that hopefully give you a chance to connect with
socially adept show a high amount of activity in thelike-minded individuals.  Give yourself a chance to
brain circuit that triggers stress hormones. These"play" as it were.  You may be dealing with feelings
"jitters" are actually helpful to them as they helpof emptiness as you go through this.  That's ok. 
them prepare to deal with an uncertain situation.  AsGrieve in the safe space you create with your
the school year winds on, however, the stresstherapist.  It may feel like rough going at first, but
hormone levels gradually decline as these childrenyou've got to keep trying.
learn to master the ups and downs of the social 
playground.  In contrast, socially isolated andYou may not have a happy childhood, but you can
unhappy preschoolers maintain high stress hormonestill have a great adult life.
levels and in some cases, they even increase.Just start learning how to play again.  You don't
 have to throw a temper tantrum like a preschooler,
This is why successful mastery of child's play is sobut once you learn how to start enjoying life like one,
important.  It teaches you how to navigate socialyou'll find yourself smiling a lot more often.  And
situations with grace, an important component ofthat's something worth shooting for.
building and maintaining relationships.