| Have you ever seen a pouting six year old child? | | | | you may fend off criticism from others. But it may |
| They may have their lower lip puffed out. You might | | | | be the case that your feelings of depression cause |
| hear them saying things like "Leave me alone | | | | you to deny the feedback or counterattack. Of |
| mommy" or "go away." Then their parents may try | | | | course this leads to more negativity and rejection. |
| to talk to them a bit to see if they can coax them | | | | What are some ways you can stop pushing others |
| into a better mood. If that fails, they may just let | | | | away and start defeating depression? |
| the kid be for a while until they return to a better | | | | 1) Try cognitive-behavioral therapy. It's been shown |
| mood. | | | | to be one of the more effective treatments for |
| But what does your depression and a pouting | | | | depression because it teaches you new thinking and |
| six-year old's behavior have in common? | | | | behavioral patterns that break you out of cycles of |
| As it turns out, both of you may be pushing other | | | | negativity. In addition a mental health professional will |
| people away without realizing it. For a six-year old, | | | | be able to prescribe drugs (or point you to someone |
| this is fine because everyone knows they're just a | | | | who can) if they determine you need them. |
| kid. But if you're an adult, people are just going to | | | | 2) Do something nice for someone else. Volunteering |
| give you your space until you indicate you want | | | | and helping others makes you feel good. It's a fact. |
| them to come back. The problem is, if you're | | | | Helping takes the focus off you and your troubles |
| depressed, you may be responding with behaviors | | | | and helps you constructively engage in life. |
| that continually push others away. | | | | 3) Socialize. Depression can often cause withdrawal |
| What are these behaviors? | | | | and isolation, so it's important to try and stay socially |
| 1) Actively looking for negative feedback from | | | | active. |
| others. A series of studies by psychology | | | | 4) Dispute your negative thoughts. If you find |
| researchers shows that depression can lead people | | | | yourself having a negative thought like "I'm so |
| to solicit negative feedback from others. Of course, | | | | irresponsible" then dispute it with reasons like "I'm not |
| when they successfully get that negative feedback, | | | | irresponsible because I pay all my bills on time." |
| they feel worse than when they started. For | | | | Psychologists know this is a very effective way to |
| instance, a depressed husband may tell his wife that | | | | counterbalance negative thoughts about yourself. |
| he's a failure at being a father. His wife may tell him | | | | Hopefully, it'll help you to accept positive feedback |
| he's a successful father, but his depression causes | | | | from others more easily if you've been having trouble |
| him to reject her by telling her that she doesn't know | | | | doing so. |
| anything. His wife then feels hurt and stops trying to | | | | Perhaps you've tried therapy and found it didn't work. |
| cheer him up. | | | | Oftentimes, depression is a complicated animal with |
| 2) Accentuating the negative. If you're depressed, | | | | biological and psychological factors at work. It could |
| you may be seeing more negativity than there | | | | be the mental health professional wasn't right for you |
| actually is in a situation. For example, a college | | | | (you need to be able to cultivate a trusting |
| sophomore Billy who transferred to a new school | | | | relationship with your therapist). It may be that you |
| begins to experience feelings of depression. His | | | | need medication and therapy in order to stave it off. |
| roommate Ken tries to help him by suggesting he | | | | The point is, you have to be persistent. It's the |
| talk to a therapist and inviting him to social gatherings. | | | | combination of tactics that will help you in fighting |
| But Billy keeps withdrawing. After a long day and | | | | depression. |
| feeling frustrated, Ken snaps at Billy saying "Stop | | | | Once you start breaking up the patterns of |
| feeling sorry for yourself and get out of bed or get | | | | self-defeating behavior with some or all of the |
| some help." Billy doesn't perceive Ken's frustration. | | | | methods above, you'll find that your relationships |
| Instead he concludes that Ken hates him. Of course, | | | | become more positive. You won't be pushing others |
| this isn't true. | | | | away with your depression like a pouting six-year old. |
| 3) Not taking constructive criticism well. Sometimes | | | | And that's something worth working towards. |