| What is the difference between jealousy and envy? | | | | You may even go out of your way to indulge that |
| You know each of these feelings like the back of | | | | of which he/she is jealous...privately...covertly. And |
| your hand if you have ever lived in an abusive | | | | should you get caught in the act, you may find |
| relationship. | | | | yourself downplaying or minimizing the importance of |
| Jealousy | | | | his/her object of jealousy...all in an effort to lessen |
| Jealousy is that feeling of wanting to control what | | | | the jealously. |
| another person appears to be having... attracting... | | | | Envy |
| experiencing. We think of it in terms of romantic | | | | Envy, on the other hand, is more about you relative |
| relationships where one person wants the other | | | | to the object of your envy, not the person having, |
| person to be nourished by their affections only. | | | | being... embodying it. It's more of a feeling of wanting |
| When they sense attention and/or attraction from a | | | | for yourself that which you see the other person |
| third party, they feel this uneasiness that we call | | | | having-without them in the equation. |
| jealousy. It's a feeling that says, "I don't feel stable | | | | There isn't a control component in envy, which is |
| with respect to 'you and I' when you are getting | | | | another primary distinction between jealousy and |
| ABC from this other person and/or this other | | | | envy. However, as a domestic abuse survivor, you |
| experience." | | | | may have been envious of your partner's domination, |
| If you are in an abusive relationship, you know this | | | | power and control. On some level, you may have |
| experience of your partner being jealous of that | | | | longed to have some of that power for yourself. But |
| which brings you pleasure outside of and beyond his | | | | it was the power that you desired in and of itself, |
| her control. | | | | irrespective of your partner. |
| When you are on the receiving end of jealousy, your | | | | Understanding this subtle distinction will serve you |
| natural instinct-as a domestic abuse victim-is to | | | | next time you experience or encounter jealousy and |
| minimize your partner's jealousy, as you know its | | | | envy. It will tell you what it is that you are actually |
| ramifications. And you likely believe you have the job | | | | longing in the moment. |
| and wherewithal to regulate it. | | | | |