Letting Go Of The Child You Love

It takes every ounce of fiber in you to refrain fromsits atop her head in flagrant defiance.
intervening. You must be willing to let go of her asShe informs you she has a right to live her own life
she self-destructs because it's what she wants. Outno matter how shabby it is. Her declarations of
of love for her, you behave in the very manner thatindependence spew out like venom and head straight
is so repugnant to you: you do nothing.for your heart. You wonder who is this person is as
For eighteen years it has been your responsibility toher once-radiant face now contorts into the ugliness
do: with her, for her,because ofher. Your duty, asof anger. Is this the same child whose face lit up as
you perceived it, was to stay involved in her life.she sang "Jesus Loves Me," who memorized
Your duty, now, as she perceives it, is to stay outscriptures voluntarily? Is this the same girl who
of her life.seemed to understand spiritually mature principles of
When did it all begin to change? When did shescripture at a young age?
suddenly decide that she did not need the veryFriends who hardly spoke to you before, now find it
mother to whom she used to cling? That child thatnecessary to report when and where they've seen
would rather die than hurt her mother-- where is sheher--and with whom. What makes them think you
now? You wonder if you held her too closely. Youwant to be reminded of her dissolute lifestyle?
doubt your judgment in telling her how special sheNow you know what a cornered animal feels like.
was: maybe it was too much for her to live up to.You cannot step in and fix things as you've always
Loneliness covers you like gauze as you wonder whodone -- she will not allow it. For her sake, you will not
it is she tells her secret dreams to. You hope she stilleven try. It would only make her more dependent on
has dreams.your judgment, on your experience, and you cannot
You think you must have felt it coming: that timedeprive her of her own experience. You dare not
when you would have to set her free; but yousend her any messages that cause her to believe
thought it would be more amiable. You agree thatshe is incapable of being her own person.
every person has the right to self-determinism; butNo, any intervention at this point, would only prolong
as you watch her acting out her lack of self-respect,the inevitable: she would find it necessary to tear
you realize you only believed that in theory.away from you later, perhaps then, tearing bigger
You remember how you talked of her future withpieces of both your hearts.
expectant hearts. She had so much going for her.Now you wait for her to find herself -- to find you
You thought you had happy productive days planned.again. You pray it happens before she destroys the
Did she find something more desirable -- somethingchild you love. You wonder how long it will take, and
she was more comfortable with than success? Youif you'll still be alive.
search for clues that would have allowed you to seeAnd then you remember that Isaiah 54:13 promises
how much she hates herself, but none comethat your children shall be taught of the Lord. And
forward.you are reminded in Philippians 2:6 that He who began
You try not to show your repulsion as you look atthe good work in [her] will perform it until the day of
the sleazy dress that almost covers her amplyJesus Christ. And you realize that, like Hannah who
endowed breasts and buttocks. A lump lodges inkept her promise to God and turned her only son
your throat as you try to find those beautiful soft,over to Eli and his wicked sons, you have to trust
brown eyes amidst the purple and green eyeGod to protect your child, even in the midst of a
shadows packed on her lids. You're repelled by herwicked world.
tatoo-covered legs, and you're relieved she does notYou ask yourself if God is still in control, and you
offer to kiss you with those blood-red, over-lined lips.determine He is even if it does not feel like it. You lie
You remember how she used to sit on the floor withdown and sleep the sleep of peace knowing you
her head in your lap so you could stroke her soft,have planted The Seed, and God is able to do the
shiny brown hair. What provokes this memory isrest. You rest in the Sovereignty of One who loves
looking at the teased, gelled, punked-out mess thather even more than you do.