| The Battle of Marathon took place in 490 B.C. during | | | | The goal of the marathon for a beginner should be |
| the first Persian invasion. It was fought between the | | | | just to finish. This should be our goal in marriage, too, |
| citizens of Athens, Greece, and the Persian forces | | | | doing all we can to prevent divorce. It takes |
| under the rule of the Persian King Darius. A fabled run | | | | long-term love, mutual honor, commitment, affection, |
| of a Greek soldier Pheidippides, a messenger from | | | | and open and honest communication to make |
| the Battle of Marathon to Athens, is the basis for the | | | | marriage work over the long haul. A great sense of |
| modern marathon, held in cities across the world, | | | | humor helps, too! |
| with the larger ones having tens of thousands of | | | | Some people go into marriage with a goal of the |
| runners participating. | | | | other person making them happy, and completing |
| The marathon is a long-distance, foot race on the | | | | them. Only God can fill us up and complete us. We |
| road with an official distance of 26 7/32 miles, | | | | need to lay aside unreasonable expectations of our |
| requiring great strength and endurance. A sprint, on | | | | husband or wife, and not put that kind of pressure |
| the other hand, is a short distance run, requiring a | | | | on them. |
| burst of energy, to run at one's full speed. Marriage is | | | | We may also have other goals that are quite selfish |
| a marathon, not a sprint. | | | | in nature, such as our own person career or business |
| From the website Marathon Rookie, I found the Top | | | | success, to the detriment of the marriage and family |
| 10 Rookie Mistakes for beginner marathon runners, | | | | - ambitiously spending all our time on personal |
| which apply to marriage as well. They are: injury, | | | | projects to get "ahead," while neglecting the very |
| hydration, lack of knowledge, starting too fast, | | | | ones we love. Balance is the key. Time with our |
| wrong goal, motivation, lack of belief, lack of support, | | | | husband or wife lets them know we love them, and |
| and underestimate stretching. Let's look at each one | | | | enjoy them. |
| of these for why marriages are often troubled, and | | | | 7. Motivation. Just as in a run when there's bad |
| fail. | | | | weather, an injury, illness, or work that can keep him |
| 1. Injury. A couple comes into marriage, bringing | | | | from a run, and cause him to lose his motivation to |
| emotional and spiritual baggage, and often many | | | | continue, there are problems that occur in marriage |
| wounds. says that many beginner runners "notice | | | | which causes a husband or a wife to lose their |
| soreness in their shins or knees and ignore it. They | | | | motivation to continue the marriage. Financial |
| keep running and BAM, it hits them. They're done. | | | | stresses, the demands of children, relatives and |
| Game Over. Be aware of the warning signs and how | | | | friends who intrude, pressures at work, a nagging |
| to treat them." | | | | spouse, infidelity or pornography, addictions, fatigue, |
| If one person in the marriage is injured, then the | | | | boredom can all play a part in one of the partners |
| marriage's health will be affected as well. We need to | | | | wanting to bail out of the marriage. Keep your eye |
| realize that it is only God who can heal us and make | | | | on the goal; to finish strong. Never give up! |
| us whole - not our spouse. Men love to fix things, but | | | | 8. Lack of belief. In Mark 6: 5-6, unbelief hindered the |
| they can't fix their wives. Vice versa for wives trying | | | | purposes of God. People often give up far too easily |
| to change, fix, or improve their husbands. | | | | and quickly today, and file for divorce. "Now He could |
| Jesus is the healer of wounded hearts. Sometimes | | | | do no mighty work there, except that He laid His |
| healing from deep hurts such as parental rejection, | | | | hands on a few sick people and healed them. 6 And |
| abandonment, childhood abuse, dysfunctional | | | | He marveled because of their unbelief. Then He went |
| relationships in adulthood, abortion, drug, alcohol, or | | | | about the villages in a circuit, teaching." |
| pornography and gambling addictions may require | | | | says that beginner runners begin training and have a |
| professional counseling, spiritual deliverance, and/or | | | | hard time finishing their first five-mile run. After that, |
| pastoral accountability. | | | | they give up, thinking they could never do a |
| Ultimately as we seek God's face, study His word, | | | | marathon. "But Jesus looked at them and said to |
| and obey Him, we will receive our healing. Psalm | | | | them, "With men this is impossible, but with God all |
| 107:20 says, "He sent His word and healed them, and | | | | things are possible." (Matthew 19:26, NKJV) We need |
| delivered them from their destruction." | | | | to have faith and believe that God will heal our |
| 2. Hydration. says that runners get dehydrated | | | | marriages. |
| because they underestimate how much water their | | | | 9. Lack of support. The world is far too eager to tell |
| bodies need during training. Married couples don't | | | | you that marriage is too hard, and it's just much |
| realize how much they need Jesus' "living waters" | | | | better (for your sake, for your children's sake, for |
| each day for their marriage to last. In John 4:10 | | | | your career's sake, for your sanity's or checking |
| (NKJV), Jesus said to the Samaritan woman at the | | | | account's sake) to get a divorce. Many married |
| well, "Jesus answered and said to her, "If you knew | | | | couples do not get the support they need to help |
| the gift of God, and who it is who says to you, 'Give | | | | their marriages succeed from family, friends, |
| Me a drink,' you would have asked Him, and He | | | | co-workers, and even professional counselors and |
| would have given you living water." | | | | spiritual advisors. |
| 3. Lack of knowledge. When you're dating, let's face | | | | If you are counseling with a professional counselor |
| it, your fiance' doesn't realize what he's really getting | | | | who tells you to divorce your spouse for any reason |
| himself into! He doesn't know that you're a | | | | other than unfaithfulness, spouse or child abuse or |
| clean-freak, you hate to cook, and you aren't a | | | | neglect, then RUN! Sometimes a couple may need to |
| morning person. After all, you go out on weekend | | | | draw boundaries with people who are critical of their |
| dates to the Japanese or Italian restaurant, where | | | | marriage, or are giving one or both of them ungodly |
| they cook the delicious food, wash the dishes, and | | | | advice. You might even have to cut off contact with |
| after your talks and snuggles til midnight at his house, | | | | them for a season, or permanently. Your marriage is |
| you go home and crash - and sleep in the next | | | | your most important priority, under God. |
| morning! | | | | As the marriage goes, the family goes. As the family |
| Couples may see some things that concern them | | | | goes, the community goes. As the community goes, |
| while they date, but they often don't really see with | | | | the state goes. As the state goes, the nation goes. |
| their "love blinders" on. They're too focused on how | | | | As the nation goes, the world goes! Successful |
| wonderful this person is, and how they're going to be | | | | marriages have far-reaching consequences! |
| happy for the rest of their lives. A longer dating | | | | God told Abraham that he and his descendants would |
| period, asking probing questions, and paying attention | | | | be blessed forever, to all future generations! Because |
| to little details, will help you to get to know your | | | | of Abraham's and Sarah's faith in and obedience to |
| fiance better - and you will have less unpleasant | | | | God, and due to their committed marriage, their |
| "surprises," such as him being a "messy" or her having | | | | children and all future generations were blessed! |
| a new shoes addiction - after saying "I do." | | | | Don't you think their marriage might have been |
| 4. Starting too fast. says that beginner runners try to | | | | strained just a little when Abraham slept with Sarah's |
| run more miles than the scheduled training. "If you | | | | maid, and she became pregnant with Ishmael, after |
| feel really strong when you begin training and want | | | | Sarah had years of barrenness? Yet Sarah stayed, |
| to run more, PLEASE resist the temptation. By going | | | | despite her great pain and emptiness...and God |
| the extra mile, you are substantially increasing the | | | | rewarded her with her own baby boy, Isaac, which |
| likelihood of injury." | | | | means "laughter." |
| Going too fast in a relationship can increase your | | | | 10. Stretching. Beginner runners often underestimate |
| chances of being hurt, too. This is especially true in a | | | | the importance of stretching, which gives them less |
| relationship where there's lots of intense chemistry. | | | | soreness, puts them at less risk for injury, and gives |
| Lust will not see you through the years; commitment | | | | them greater flexibility and a longer stride. Stretch |
| and love will! Take it slow, and get to know this | | | | out your arms to Jesus and to your husband or wife. |
| person before the wedding day! | | | | Go all out in your love and devotion. Bend, cooperate, |
| 5. Wrong training program. In Luke 6:47-49 (NKJV), | | | | be understanding, show mercy and forgiveness. This |
| the story of the man building his house on the | | | | will help your marriage to last. |
| foundation of the rock, and it standing in the fierce | | | | Don't be so rigid and set in your ways, insisting that |
| storm is a perfect picture of a good marriage that | | | | you are right all the time, that you can't meet your |
| will last. Married couples will face many storms | | | | spouse half-way or more. Lay your life down for the |
| through the years, and having their marriage built on | | | | sake of your marriage. Through the years of your |
| the principles of God's word is what will get them | | | | marriage, you will learn that "stretching" yourself in |
| through these storms. | | | | faith and love will enhance your marriage relationship, |
| Some couples had the wrong "training program," in | | | | and create greater tenderness, affection, respect, |
| that they were never taught the truth of God's | | | | and passion in your marriage. |
| word, and don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ. | | | | A sprint may get you to the finish line faster, but a |
| says some runners choose a program that is more | | | | marathon has incredible awards. Go for the gold in |
| difficult than they can handle, and they wind up | | | | marriage. Do the marathon, and win! |
| quitting. Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the | | | | "Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It |
| branches. Apart from Me you can do nothing." We | | | | knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be |
| need God's help with our marriage problems. All we | | | | killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It |
| have to do is come to Him in humble faith, and He | | | | knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or |
| will give us all we need. | | | | it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're a lion |
| 6. Wrong goal. Some runners focus on finishing the | | | | or gazelle - when the sun comes up, you'd better be |
| marathon quickly. This is the wrong goal, and | | | | running. |
| increases the chances of injury and not finishing at all. | | | | |