My Enlightenment

I was an overweight child. My mom was overweight,the powerful teenage social pecking order. I did not
my dad was overweight, and my grandparents werewant to repeat the experiences I had in elementary
overweight. Every picture in our house documentedschool. Even though others viewed me as a jovial,
generations of obese relatives. These imagespopular playmate, I was sad and lonely inside. I knew
surrounded me as I grew up. I was handed a legacysomething made me different, and the obvious sign
of entrapment into a world of struggle with weight.of that difference was my overweight body. That
As a child born into this legacy, I did overweightsummer the idea of my "great escape" from obesity
things. I ate fattening foods. I shopped at clothescame to my naïve mind. My plan was to simply
stores for overweight kids. I did sedentary activities.not eat while addicting myself to a daily routine of
Most painful of all, I was the brunt of every cruel fatplaying sports with friends. I was good at sports and
insult imaginable. Some of these insults weremy endurance was very high. I would keep my
intentional, as when attacked by peers. Other insultsescape hidden from my parents by staying out all
were unintentional, as when assaulted byday. They would never know if I ate.
well-meaning adults. The common adult remark IMy fat poured off. When I started my great escape,
heard was, "Oh, my, what a big boy! He's so nicethe next pair of jeans I was going to buy would
looking and he'll lose all that baby fat." These adulthave been a size 40 waist, at 13 years old. By the
remarks were just as painful as those of mytime I entered high school I was wearing a size 29
playmates, such as "Hey, Lardo!" or "Fatty-fattywaist, and I was proudly carrying the athlete's V
two-by-four, can't get through the kitchen door." Ishape of broad shoulders tapering to a thin waist. My
was not a happy child.great escape was successful, but luckily I was
I did not do well in school. The fat boy is expectedphysically strong. I could have seriously hurt myself in
to be the class clown, and I filled that role expertlythe process from the punishment I was putting my
by getting into trouble frequently in the primarybody through.
grades. My pranks culminated in having my diplomaMy new body led to a new cycle of personal
handed to my parents outside of the graduationsuccess. Looking like an athlete and playing sports for
ceremony.so many hours dictated that I become an athlete in
Like most overweight kids, when I wanted to breakhigh school. By changing my body, I developed strong
away from my family destiny, the response from myself-confidence from accomplishing what I had
family was based on wisdom handed down to themthought was an impossible feat. This self-confidence
from previous generations. If my family discoveredperpetuated further accomplishments and built solid
that I was dieting, they made me feel guilty andself-esteem. My high school years were successful
embarrassed. This was not my family's fault; theand happy. I did well in school and changed my image
concept of a ten-year-old feeling hurt by his weightfrom one of a class clown to one of a leader/scholar
simply was not in the parenting handbook theirathlete. Those years built a foundation that
parents gave them. Most often my family'sculminated in overcoming other obstacles, gaining
comments on losing weight were, "Don't be silly, eat,entrance into medical school, and launching a
you're just big boned" or "You've got a lot of babysuccessful professional career.
fat; that goes away. Now stop being silly and eat." AtSadly, my parents never fully embraced my new
this early age I felt a hopelessness that life hadlifestyle. Because I was forced to accomplish my
thrown me a handicap I could never overcome.great escape alone, they never knew the magnitude
My parents were warm, loving people who took theirof the accomplishment and how it became the
greatest joys in life from seeing their children happy.cornerstone of other successes. They were proud of
But even with this strong bond they couldn'tme and my accomplishments with my body, but they
understand or help with the suffering I was livingdid not single out my fitness lifestyle for special
with. As a result, I learned early on not to share thisrecognition. In their minds, they believed the old
pain with them. The script they received as parentswisdom that baby fat disappears in due time. They
told them that children must be fed well so that theyhad no idea what commitment and hardship it took
will thrive and be strong. A big appetite in a child wasfor the fat to disappear.
a badge of good parenting. It was understandableMy example of weight control and fitness never
that my parents couldn't empathize with the pain Irubbed off on them when I was young. Many years
was going through as an overweight child trappedlater each of my parents had their own epiphanies
inside a body and an image I didn't want.that led them to healthier lifestyles. For each of them
When I did make my escape from the prison ofthis was because of a serious health scare. They
obesity, I did it in a dangerous way. It was thetried in their own ways to eat healthier and to
summer before entering high school, and I wasbecome more physically active, but they could never
determined not to start high school as a "fat boy"shake the generations of messages that threw them
and endure even worse taunts and embarrassment inback into bad habits.