| Sometimes child abuse leaves marks anyone can see, | | | | none of the pain shows, it is easy to dismiss as |
| whether they want to or not, but not always. | | | | childish imaginings and wonder secretly what's really |
| Sometimes it's invisible, and so hard to understand | | | | wrong with me? |
| that you don't realize anything is wrong, even when | | | | Seen in retrospect by the adult who was once a |
| it's happening to you. When that happens it's easy to | | | | gifted child, the circumstances that guided my |
| talk about evil and cruelty and failure to accept | | | | thoughts and shaped my intellect are not so |
| responsibility, but sometimes it's not that way. All too | | | | frightening to confront or hard to define as they |
| often it's unintentional. Sometimes choices made with | | | | once were. It's not just that decades have gone by, |
| the best of intentions will lead to consequences that | | | | or that most of my elders, the authority figures who |
| will be sad beyond imagining. | | | | did their best to shape the limits of my boyhood |
| What do you call it then? What happens when dutiful | | | | world, have passed on. Such insights as I have been |
| parents choose to deny what would have been | | | | able to manage, to make sense of the way my life |
| obvious if it were not so extraordinary, convinced | | | | worked itself out, have come at the expense of |
| that their child will become a better person without | | | | soul-searching self-examination, more than enough |
| acknowledgment of the unusual intelligence they can't | | | | experiences to fill several books, and by great good |
| explain. That's what happened to me sixty-something | | | | fortune or the grace of God, a refusal to give up. |
| years ago, and I still don't know what to call it. | | | | If you had told me back then that I was indeed |
| Mom and Dad wanted to protect me from the | | | | experiencing a boyhood shaped by the uninformed |
| temptations of arrogance and pride, to save me | | | | judgments of my family, or at least by some sort of |
| from the pain of being different, and they must have | | | | benign neglect, I would not have believed you. If you |
| believed that ignoring the bright intensity of a little | | | | had presumed to go so far as to suggest the world |
| boy who wanted to learn all about everything and | | | | abuse, I might very well have jumped to the defense |
| who always understood such explanations as he | | | | of that same family, but in the light of the attention |
| managed to get, would make it go away, or at least | | | | that has recently been devoted to issues concerning |
| turn into something ordinary. I learned all too quickly | | | | gifted children, it might be difficult not to use that |
| that I was not ordinary and that being that way hurt. | | | | word. |
| I had no idea why that should be so, and the only | | | | It helps to remind ourselves that gifted children do |
| explanation I could imagine was that I must never | | | | not exist as an isolated phenomenon. Smart kids are |
| trust that anything I came to believe about myself | | | | always part of the social milieu, the political and |
| would necessarily be true. | | | | religious and popular attitudes that shape the choices |
| Over the years I have invested energy beyond | | | | made by their elders. If a very bright young person is |
| reckoning in disciplining myself not to complain about | | | | regarded as a shining example of precocity, as some |
| the bad things that happened to me or about the | | | | sort of living treasure to be protected and nurtured, |
| good ones that did not. After all, as my Grandmother | | | | it is because the particular mindset that supports |
| Victoria would have reminded me all too quickly, I | | | | such a perception is not uncommon in the community |
| have never wanted for sufficient food, warms | | | | in which they are growing up. |
| clothes, or a roof of one sort or another over my | | | | Life does not always work out that way. |
| head. Perhaps those things make it worse. When | | | | |