| Most of us know the physical violence is a form of | | | | victim's main goal. They may withdraw into |
| domestic abuse, but did you know that there is such | | | | themselves and feel that they are worthless or |
| a thing as spousal mental abuse? Most people don't | | | | somehow "deserve" the abuse. |
| relate mental and verbal attacks as being abuse on | | | | Although an abuser will likely never change his/her |
| the same level as domestic violence. But the effects | | | | ways, the cycle of abuse can only be stopped once |
| of any form of abuse can be devastating. | | | | the victim acknowledges that what the abuser is |
| A common symptom is denial- the victim refuses to | | | | doing is INDEED abuse. If you suspect that someone |
| even acknowledge that what he/she is going through | | | | you love may be the victim of spousal mental abuse, |
| is abuse. This can make it hard to encourage | | | | it's important to talk to him/her in a |
| someone to seek help or get away from their | | | | non-confrontational way and try to encourage them |
| abuser, especially if they move to the next step of | | | | to seek help and support for themselves. But be |
| "justification." If the victim begins justifying the | | | | prepared- a victim's typical response to an outsider's |
| abuser's words and actions because "he/she was | | | | interference is complete denial, and sometimes even |
| angry," this is an indicator that the cycle of abuse has | | | | anger for someone daring to "interfere." |
| gotten that much tighter. | | | | Abuse in any form causes pain, whether physical or |
| Spousal mental abuse can be in the form of | | | | emotional, and leaves permanent scars in a person's |
| screaming, yelling, hurling insults, "put-downs," | | | | mind and heart. Spousal mental abuse is no different |
| manipulation, and even telling the victim "If you loved | | | | in this aspect. Abuse as a general rule, affects a |
| me you'd...." After awhile, the victim usually ends up | | | | person's self-esteem, their self-worth, their ability to |
| having physical symptoms as a result of the abuse- | | | | trust in themselves and others, and after awhile, a |
| these symptoms include stomach-aches, tension | | | | person's ability to love can become lost under a |
| headaches, ulcers, even panic-attacks from the | | | | mountain of "self-protection mechanisms." |
| constant worry and stress of whether or not the | | | | Abuse hurts, whether it's physical, mental, or |
| abuser is going to find fault with him or her. | | | | emotional. The cycle of abuse must be stopped. You |
| It's extremely common for victims of abuse to lash | | | | can't force an abuser to change. But you can help |
| out at others, since they are unable to lash out at | | | | the victim to see that what they are going through is |
| their abuser. They may become confrontational, | | | | abuse, and be there for them so that when they are |
| verbally attack others, or they may completely avoid | | | | ready to end the cycle of abuse- there's someone |
| social situations which require interaction with other | | | | there to be there for them. |
| people. Avoiding confrontation or attack becomes a | | | | |