| How do you know if this is emotional abuse? How do | | | | encounters with bullies and control freaks. (The latter |
| you know if you are being abused emotionally? You | | | | term is not a clinical term.) |
| know from the inside out. | | | | 3) The Boa Constrictor Inner Strangulation This is the |
| Look closely at these three tell-tale signs of | | | | biggest tell-tale sign of emotional abuse. You know |
| emotional abuse and let your awareness of your | | | | this ONLY from the inside out. Here's what it feels |
| inner experience, relative to each, permeate your | | | | like: a boa constrictor is wrapped around the entire |
| entire being. | | | | length of your spine. And with each passing moment, |
| 1) Being Called to the Carpet | | | | you experience your in breath constrict and your out |
| Emotional abusers have a very unique way of calling | | | | breath almost non-existent. |
| out their disappointments. They do it by calling you to | | | | Need I say any more. When you encounter the boa |
| the carpet, where you crawl with your tail between | | | | constrictor, you are not yourself for crying out loud. |
| you legs and your stomach in a knot. | | | | You may cut off from your very essence, simply to |
| Your mind is all consumed in how you are going to | | | | stay alive. |
| appease and please them that you may not even | | | | Now I know if you know emotional abuse or have |
| have time to address their expressed concerns. All | | | | had the occasion to frequent with a control freak, |
| you know is: it's time to make this one go away, if | | | | then you can relate to this inner world as I have |
| you can. Most likely, you can't. | | | | painted in these very words. If my picture is utterly |
| 2) The Absence of "Emotional Safety" Your sense of | | | | foreign, count your blessings as you have not |
| emotional safety is simply not alive relative to this | | | | encountered the signs of emotional abuse. |
| person. You feel guarded, maybe even awkward at | | | | If, on the other hand, this article is resonating and |
| times, certainly not fluid by any stretch. | | | | you are keenly aware of that inner experience of: a) |
| This is in complete contrast to how you experience | | | | being called to the carpet; b) the absence of |
| yourself when you're aware of your sense of | | | | "emotional safety" and c) the boa constrictor inner |
| "emotional safety." I've coined this term to connote a | | | | strangulation, then you are lucky because you know |
| very specific emotional ease and security that is | | | | the signs of emotional abuse. And you can now avoid |
| clearly absent in abusive relationships, as well as in | | | | becoming a part of the abuse dynamic. |