| Lack of emotional safety is the number one indicator | | | | decisions involving both of you, beware of this |
| of a potentially dangerous relationship. It may seem | | | | non-empathic partner. Your inner world may interest |
| subtle, yet it is ever so significant with respect to | | | | him or her when, and only when, it serves their |
| your well-being and safety. Know the five signs of | | | | needs. Having an interest in your experience merely |
| emotional abuse before it spirals out of control. | | | | because it's an expression of you is not to be |
| Lack of "emotional safety" is an important indicator | | | | expected with an emotional abuser. |
| of an abusive relationship. It may seem subtle, yet it | | | | 4) Not being willing to have mutual involvement in |
| is ever so significant with respect to your health and | | | | your interests |
| well-being. | | | | Mutual involvement doesn't mean equal time doing |
| When you have emotional safety, it's palatable. You | | | | your interests verses theirs. Rather, it is reciprocal |
| can feel it in every fiber of your being. When it's | | | | "interest" (or acceptance) in that which interests you. |
| missing, you may feel its loss. Or, you may simply | | | | The emotional abuser does not show an interest (or |
| know of it not being there by the presence of these | | | | awareness or understanding or involvement) in your |
| five glaring signs. | | | | interests because these activities or things please |
| 1) Not honoring your privacy | | | | you. Instead, he or she shows an interest only as it |
| If something is in a drawer, it's in a drawer out from | | | | serves him/her. |
| public display. Someone having no business in that | | | | 5) Not honoring you for who and what you are |
| drawer may be drawn to explore its contents. And | | | | Intentionally seeking to alter who and what you are |
| further, this uninvited explorer may take issue with | | | | to suit one's own preferences, rather than accepting |
| what is discovered. Beware of these signs of | | | | you as you are, is the most glaring of these signs. |
| emotional abuse. | | | | (Be mindful of the distinction between someone's |
| 2) Not respecting your boundaries | | | | efforts to alter you to suit their needs verses |
| If you say "no," will it be the end of a discussion or | | | | offering constructive criticism to contribute to your |
| the beginning of a negotiation? When "no" means | | | | growth.) The emotional abuser will seek to mold you |
| "maybe" and becomes a challenge to convert into a | | | | to become who and what they desire. |
| "yes," beware of emotional abuse! You may be | | | | While each one of these undermines your sense of |
| enticed to surrender your personal preferences | | | | emotional safety, in combination they make it |
| simply to divert the consequences of your failure to | | | | impossible. If you encounter this cluster of signs, you |
| comply. | | | | are probably looking at an emotionally abusive |
| 3) Not appreciating your experience and/or your | | | | relationship. Seek to understand the constellation of |
| feelings | | | | symptoms defining intimate partner violence before |
| If your inner world is not noticed, or factored into | | | | the emotional abuse spirals out of control. |