| Domestic abuse survivors in custody battles think all | | | | opposition. |
| they need to do is have someone say they are a | | | | 6) They value their worthiness based on their inner |
| "good" mother to prevail in their custody dispute. | | | | strength; not on the perception other's have of |
| But it's not about whether they are good parents or | | | | them. |
| good people. It's more about their being good | | | | 7) Good litigants ride with the waves. They don't |
| litigants. | | | | cave into the waves, nor resist the tide. |
| So what is a good litigant...when domestic abuse and | | | | 8) They see the bigger picture. They do not get lost |
| child custody are before the court? | | | | in the minutia. |
| 1) A good litigant is someone who follows the rules. | | | | 9) But, at the same time, they cross their "t"s and |
| 2) She/he knows the underlying games, when they | | | | dot their "i"s carefully, accurately and with objective |
| are in play and how to play them. | | | | precision. |
| 3) A good litigant understands the ploys of legal | | | | 10) They thrive in their custody disputes and come |
| psychiatric abuse. | | | | out the other end of their battles with a renewed |
| 4) She/he can identify psychologists and psychiatrists | | | | sense of self and an understanding of how the |
| that play the crazy-making game with counsel. | | | | justice system works. |
| 5) They control what is theirs to control and resist | | | | If you are a domestic abuse survivor in a custody |
| falling prey to each and every ploy of their | | | | dispute, you must be a good litigant to prevail. |