| I hear battered women's outrage over what their | | | | my kids were the most important part of my life. |
| opposition says about them in divorce court. They | | | | Unveiling the Truth in My Own Case |
| take it to heart and integrate the slanderous | | | | After four years and $1,600,000 metered legal fees, |
| comments as though they really are the picture | | | | there was no custody trial. And I remained curious as |
| painted by the other side. | | | | to what his grounds for custody were going to be, |
| Best part of it is they usually are not correct in their | | | | had we gotten that far. |
| assumptions and beliefs. Part of my job then | | | | Just before I left, I asked counsel, what were his |
| becomes helping them awaken to this...and, of | | | | grounds for fighting me for custody. He said, your |
| course, become enlightened warriors during the | | | | husband says, "You meditate." Funny thing is that this |
| warfare and thereafter. | | | | meditation practice was the foundation for what had |
| If you are a domestic violence survivor in divorce | | | | become the "feather in his cap" and now served as |
| court and lies are being told about you, remember | | | | the "sword in my back." |
| that your opposition needs to create their case. So | | | | I had cultivated a self-regulation practice that fueled a |
| what they are doing is really about them, not about | | | | very successful biofeedback practice in Chicago, even |
| you. And what they say is whatever they can grab | | | | while working part-time. And I had served as the |
| to establish their favor, their leveraging, their | | | | president of the IL Biofeedback Society and chair of |
| positioning in your case. | | | | its ethics committee during the course of my |
| Knowing It from the Inside Out | | | | marriage. |
| I remember what it was like in my own ordeal, over | | | | Now these accomplishments were what my then |
| a decade ago, with domestic abuse and family court. | | | | husband put in his pipe to blow his horn about as |
| I lived under the threat of custody litigation with a | | | | though they were his accomplishments. But as we |
| man who was not, by law, an eligible candidate for | | | | came to cross the line of divorce, suddenly these |
| custody-due to court documented domestic violence | | | | became the cause to push me out of my kid's lives. |
| and child abuse. | | | | Don't look for the rationality; it doesn't exist here. |
| But that didn't mean he couldn't taunt me with the | | | | You must understand what is said about you in court |
| prospect of it. And all along, I didn't even know what | | | | is NOT about you; rather it's about your opposition's |
| his grounds were going to be. I only knew he had | | | | strategy to carry out their agenda. So don't |
| promised to destroy me in the divorce and he knew | | | | personalize it. It's not about you! |