| It doesn't take a shrink to figure out that there's a | | | | hour, the little tike cursed my wife and kicked the kid |
| reason so many abused and traumatized kids take on | | | | next to him in a thundercloud of anger that formed |
| behaviors of excess. That said, this shrink is all too | | | | from thin air. This abused boy had feelings that badly |
| ready to talk about that link. | | | | needed expression, but in his world he could not |
| When troubled children act out they are crudely | | | | safely say what he really thought. As if playing |
| communicating a forbidden desire to take charge of a | | | | charades, he acted out his frustrations in defiance |
| world that seems anything but controlled or safe or | | | | even though the last words he heard from his father |
| understanding. Traumatized children turned defiant | | | | that morning were "You'd better be good today, or |
| give in to the pressure to strike out at a world that | | | | else." Not only did "or else" mean another beating, it |
| in their mind has abandoned them. | | | | signaled a lack of understanding. Knowing no better |
| My wife, who in my humble opinion is the world's | | | | way to cope, the boy resorted to defiance and |
| best kindergarten teacher, taught a particularly | | | | desperately hoped someone would hear him. |
| ill-mannered boy who was infamous for rollicking | | | | When abused children act badly, we find ourselves |
| tantrums by the ripe old age of five. The morning | | | | asking "What should I do to get him to stop?" A |
| after a particularly bad day, the boy's father showed | | | | better question is "What can I be to give this child |
| up at the school with his hand firmly gripping the | | | | what's missing from his world?" Hurting children need |
| back of his son's neck. "He won't give you any | | | | the influence of adults who are simultaneously |
| trouble today, Mrs. Carter. I gave him a whipping he | | | | understanding, decisive, reliable, trustworthy, |
| won't forget before we left the house this morning." | | | | sympathetic, reasonable, consistent, forgiving, and so |
| You can probably see where I'm going. Within an | | | | much more. |