| How destructive are the effects of domestic | | | | they wanted whenever is now determined by the |
| violence? An article from Psych Central gives us a | | | | abuser. The little trivialities of life that we take for |
| perfect example: "one of the most tragic outcomes | | | | granted are magnified and at the same time taken |
| of domestic violence is that well more than half of | | | | away from a domestic abuse victim. |
| the young men between the ages of 11 and 22 who | | | | 2. Security |
| are in jail for homicide have killed their mother's | | | | In the world we live in there is no complete security |
| batterer." | | | | which guarantees absolute safety but we do like to |
| It's a frightening statistic but no more so than the | | | | feel that we enjoy a modicum of refuge in our own |
| number of women who have lost their lives or | | | | home. For countless abuse victims it is not possible. |
| received permanent injuries due to domestic violence. | | | | The house becomes a prison while the abuser is |
| For those victims who are still hanging on within an | | | | warden and guard all rolled into one. And the victim |
| abusive relationship or those that have thankfully | | | | of domestic violence never knows when they will be |
| escaped there is the reality that they have been | | | | called in to be questioned and interrogated. In other |
| robbed of what is rightfully theirs. Many domestic | | | | words they live in constant fear about when the |
| abuse survivors have to start from scratch when it | | | | verbal and physical abuse is coming. |
| comes to rebuilding what was stolen. Those still in | | | | 3. Fear |
| that situation are wondering will they ever get it | | | | This is one of the most distressing effects of |
| back. | | | | domestic violence in a nutshell. The fear never stops. |
| What has the abuser stolen from the victim of | | | | Victims walk on eggshells in the hope they neither |
| domestic of violence? | | | | say nor do anything that draws the ire of their |
| 1. Self Determination | | | | significant other. And no matter how cautious and |
| All of us when we reach the age of adult hood have | | | | careful they go about it does not work. Because the |
| the right to make our own decisions. We can take | | | | rage and violence of the abuser is not within the |
| the advice of others who may have lived thru similar | | | | victim's control. Nothing the victim does will ever be |
| circumstances or disregard it altogether. Go where | | | | good enough for the abuser to stop abusing them. |
| we want when we want and other freedoms (as | | | | That and the fact that fear makes a perfect |
| well as responsibilities) that are such a given that | | | | weapon. |
| many of us do not think about it. | | | | There are countless survivors who can provide an |
| The victims of domestic do not enjoy the same | | | | almost unlimited list of the effects of domestic |
| degree of self determination. Virtually everything is | | | | violence. All of them all too real but arguably the |
| within the control of the abuser. Where as before | | | | three listed above would make anyone's list. |
| they may have talked on the phone to whoever | | | | |