| Most parents love their children desperately. There is | | | | Forgiving Abusive or Neglectful Parents |
| not much that a mother or father is not willing to do | | | | For many, forgiving parents will undoubtedly be |
| in an effort to love, nurture and protect their children. | | | | difficult; particularly in cases where a parent was |
| However, because parents are human beings and, | | | | unapologetically abusive. However, it is in these cases |
| thus, are subject to human frailties, parents do | | | | that a woman must be even more diligent about |
| sometimes emotionally scar their children. Without | | | | practicing forgiveness. To not do so and to choose |
| forgiving their parents, these same children then | | | | to continue to live in the grip of what happened |
| grow up and encounter difficulties in their adult love | | | | means that a part of one's self must still mentally |
| relationships. Sometimes the hurt inflicted by a parent | | | | dwell upon the abuse. In doing so, the exact same |
| is indirect an unintentional, such as may be the case in | | | | feelings created by the abuse are allowed to continue |
| parents who divorce or parents who remain | | | | to batter a woman in the present, as she must relive |
| together, but model unhappy marriages for their | | | | these horrible events in order to keep those feelings |
| children. Other times, a parent's harm is more direct, | | | | fresh and alive. |
| as is evidenced in cases of child abuse or neglect. | | | | So then, even when a parent never apologizes or |
| Whether intentional or unintentional, however, being | | | | takes responsibility for her or his actions, consciously |
| hurt by a parent can cause a person to grown up | | | | releasing the bitterness associated with their memory |
| with bitter feelings and resentments that affect daily | | | | and endeavoring to forgive them, instead, allows a |
| life and their relationships with others. | | | | woman the freedom to overcome the abuse and |
| Beginning a Journey of Forgiveness | | | | stops its control over her life. |
| As many divorced women can attest, such | | | | The Consequences of Refusing to Forgive |
| bitterness fuels the blame often placed on parents | | | | Not to be taken lightly, holding on to ill feelings |
| for the failure of a marriage, or general feelings about | | | | against another individual can affect a person in a |
| the current state of a woman's life if she is unhappy | | | | variety of ways, such as poor physical health, |
| after a divorce. These are among the reasons that a | | | | unstable emotional health and the ways in which she |
| woman must work at forgiving her parents, | | | | or he interacts with others. |
| however. | | | | In his best-selling book, "Getting the Love You |
| In order to move forward to a better life, past hurts | | | | Want", Dr. Harville Hendrix offers the compelling |
| and disappointments have to be forgiven. This does | | | | theory that the difficulties encountered in marriage |
| not mean that the hurt will immediately cease or that | | | | are largely due to the likelihood of adults to select |
| actions will be forgotten. However, forgiving parents | | | | partners according to the unresolved issues from |
| involves coming to grips with what has taken place, | | | | childhood that they harbor with people like their |
| fully accepting whatever has happened and the fact | | | | parents. With this in mind, a divorced woman who |
| that one cannot go back and change events, and | | | | doesn't work to forgive her parents is more likely to |
| recognizing that releasing bad feelings about the | | | | attract a future mate with qualities similar to those |
| person and/or events is necessary in order to move | | | | she despises in her parents. |
| forward. | | | | |