| When we think of verbal emotional abuse, we | | | | what ultimately starves and destroys the abused. |
| envision the name-calling and slanderous character | | | | Toxic Relationships Versus Nourishing Relationship |
| attacks common in emotionally abusive relationships. | | | | When you live amidst scorn, especially from someone |
| However, these actions, while painful in and of | | | | that "loves" you and for whom you claim your love, |
| themselves, are only a small part of the emotional | | | | you grow to regard yourself as the projection of |
| verbal abuse. | | | | your abuser. You feel bound to a wiping post simply |
| The underlying attitudes of the verbally abusive | | | | with the awareness of this person's presence. |
| husband (or wife) are as crippling to the relationship | | | | Then, when they are gone for an extended period |
| as the foul words and verbal assaults. It's an attitude | | | | of time, you relax and, in so doing, you feel your |
| of disregard, disrespect and devaluing the very | | | | own essence. Many people note the sense of |
| essence of the other person. | | | | freedom that overcomes their entire being. |
| These attitudes may be unconscious and below the | | | | When the opportunity for nourishing support comes |
| level of awareness. It's like a blind aura of | | | | their way, they clearly see the distinction between |
| despair...hatred...unresolved negative conflict harbored | | | | toxic and nourishing relationships. They grow to |
| by the verbal abuser. | | | | realize the verbal abuse is only the icing on the cake. |
| The Attitude of the Verbal Abuser | | | | For the attitude of the emotional verbal abuser is |
| The verbally abusive partner may profess love | | | | their most piercing sword. |
| toward their spouse, but it is a love of superficial | | | | Treatment for Emotional Verbal Abuse |
| affection and symbiotic connection. It is devoid of | | | | The most effective way to interrupt the cycle of |
| honoring and admiration. | | | | emotional verbal abuse is to help the verbal abuser |
| Instead of cherishing the very essence of one's | | | | identify the attitudinal component of disregard and |
| partner, the verbal abuser clings to and cherishes the | | | | disrespect. Once done, he/she can intentionally |
| way in which his/her partner serves as an extension | | | | recreate the relationship atmosphere of his/her |
| of him/herself. | | | | choosing. |
| The verbally abusive relationship is the vehicle to | | | | If you are in a verbally and emotionally abusive |
| stifle the authenticity of the abused...for the abused | | | | relationship, step back from the verbal darts and |
| knows that life is rewarded only when they passively | | | | recognize your abusive partner's attitude. From here, |
| enable the disregard of their abusive partner. | | | | your can better appreciate that the verbal abuse is |
| The attitude of disrespect becomes the norm of the | | | | this attitudinal component speaking...and the actual |
| relationship such that the abused grows to expect a | | | | words have nothing to do with you. |
| relationship atmosphere of scorn. And that attitude is | | | | |