| If you've ever attended a concert or symphony | | | | trust or like you, they won't hire you. In the world of |
| where the musicians just seemed to be "on" that | | | | politics, researchers know that the more likable |
| night, chances are you witnessed what it was like for | | | | someone is, the better chance they have of getting |
| 2 or more people to be in synch. They're playing the | | | | elected. |
| same piece, in the same key, and in the same | | | | Your posture can help in getting in synch with others. |
| rhythm, gently swaying back and forth like reeds in | | | | Surprisingly, how your posture matches up with your |
| the wind. If you were able to dive inside their brains | | | | fellow conversationalist matters when establishing |
| and watch, you would see that the neurons firing in | | | | rapport. One study of students showed that the |
| their right brain hemispheres at very similar rhythms. | | | | more similar their postures matched the teacher's, |
| But what does this have to do with making smooth | | | | the more rapport they felt and the greater sense of |
| conversation? | | | | involvement. |
| It turns out that conversations in which people are in | | | | But be careful not to fake it. |
| synch have some regular observable patterns as well. | | | | We all know nobody likes someone who is insincere. |
| For instance, research has shown that two friends in | | | | Studies show this too. In one study, when someone |
| conversation (in a lab setting) that were monitored | | | | mimicked the gestures and motions of his fellow |
| were found to have roughly the same breathing | | | | conversationalist, he was not well-liked. But when he |
| pattern. And when these friends laughed, they did so | | | | was spontaneous about his mimickry, he came |
| at virtually the same moment, and their breathing | | | | across as more appealing. |
| patterns were remarkably still in synch with each | | | | Be yourself. |
| other. | | | | Just don't forget about the other person. The best |
| The benefits of being able to get in synch with | | | | conversationalists are genuine, but they also leave |
| someone else. | | | | you with the impression that you were understood. |
| If you can get into synch with someone else, you | | | | They listen actively and take an interest in what |
| have a better chance for making a new friend or a | | | | you're saying. If you find yourself enjoying a |
| genuine connection. As a child, perhaps you marveled | | | | conversation, try and observe your gestures and |
| at someone who was able to make friends much | | | | your postures relative to the other person. You'll find |
| more easily than you were. In the business world, if | | | | your best conversations are the ones that feel like |
| you're trying to drum up clients, if your client doesn't | | | | two musicians playing from the same sheet of music. |