| Abusive people who have not yet turned to physical | | | | telling your friends you have mental problems) |
| violence are time bombs with fuses of unknown | | | | - He may continue the present cycle with no end, |
| length. If your abusive spouse feels that his "usual" | | | | never escalating but never ending the behavior |
| verbally abusive techniques are not working, he | | | | - He could go into his calculated "apologetic" phase to |
| probably will shift into physical abuse to maintain | | | | lull you into believing him and to make the next |
| control over you. | | | | abusive episode more effective |
| Abuse always escalates over time. Time wasted in | | | | - He could admit to his problem and seek help for the |
| abusive situations and marriages cause you to feel | | | | issue |
| overpowered and horror-struck - but it is never too | | | | I wish I had better news, but him choosing to seek |
| late to receive help. | | | | professional counseling is the MOST UNLIKELY. |
| What Could Happen If You Wait For Things to | | | | Consider it this way: What if you discovered that |
| Change? | | | | each time you picked your nose, someone gave you |
| Constantly remember that your abuser profits from | | | | $50.00? No matter how distasteful you find the |
| abusing you. He lives the life he wants to live while | | | | behavior, would you do it if you needed some cash? |
| you do everything in your power to "make him | | | | Well, your abuser is motivated by the same logic. |
| satisfied" while sacrificing yourself. | | | | Each time he acts a particular way (whether he likes |
| Here are some possibilities of what can happen if you | | | | his behavior or not), you give him some sort of prize |
| decide to stay with your abuser: | | | | (cooperation, validation of his power, a feeling of |
| - He could escalate to physical violence and continue | | | | importance, etc.). How likely is he to alter his behavior |
| in that way until he kills you | | | | if there is a great benefit resulting from his behavior? |
| - He may try new ways of abusing you (such as | | | | Will you continue to risk the dangers? |