| So, you've made it through the hardest part - | | | | getting your things back, you can tell him that, but he |
| breaking up. What do you do next? | | | | still may insist on returning them to you. And as long |
| One thing that can make things difficult after a | | | | as he has your things, he has a reason (at least in his |
| breakup is if you have left some of your things at his | | | | mind) to keep contacting you. That's why it's best to |
| house. You probably will want to get these things | | | | get your stuff back as soon as possible. |
| back, so how do you go about doing that? First, | | | | If you have some of his things, return them to him |
| arrange a time to pick up these things at his house. | | | | promptly. Either drop them off at his house when he |
| Bring a friend or relative with you. It's very important | | | | isn't there, or mail them to him. |
| that you do not be alone with him at this time. An | | | | Immediately tie up all other loose ends such as joint |
| abusive man will escalate during the time of | | | | credit card accounts and other bills you may have |
| separation. He may hurt you or even kill you. At the | | | | incurred jointly. Pay him back for any money that |
| very least, he will try to manipulate you into going | | | | you may have borrowed from him while you are |
| back with him. | | | | dating. The sooner you tie up all loose ends, the |
| It's best to take a man with you that you are | | | | sooner you can sever contact. |
| related to; for instance, your dad, stepdad, uncle, or | | | | Cutting off contact with your ex is important. I don't |
| brother. Chances are, the guy isn't going to try | | | | recommend remaining friends after a breakup, even |
| anything in front of your family. In some cases, you | | | | in the most amicable of circumstances. Being friends |
| may be able to get the police to accompany you. Do | | | | is just going to open old wounds and keep you from |
| not bring your new boyfriend or male friend with you. | | | | moving on with your life. Do not call him to see how |
| This will make your ex angry and possibly cause a | | | | he is doing. You do not care how he is doing. He is no |
| fight. | | | | longer in your life. Do not answer the phone when he |
| Do not allow your ex to return your stuff to your | | | | calls, and do not return his calls. If you've tied up all |
| house, unless he's going to leave the things on the | | | | the loose ends, you have no reason to continue |
| porch when you aren't there. Even if you're not | | | | talking to him. Continuing contact with your ex will |
| concerned about him getting violent, he will use the | | | | only prolong your pain and allow you him to continue |
| opportunity to manipulate you. It can also be hard to | | | | to manipulate you. |
| get him to leave once he is in your house. You can | | | | Tying up loose ends and cutting off contact are the |
| request that he mail your things to you if they will all | | | | most important things you can do to help move on |
| fit in a small box. If you aren't concerned about | | | | with your life after a breakup. |