| There is a saying that I once read that we are | | | | to their beliefs, views, opinions or standards? I'm not |
| attracted to people in spite of their imperfections but | | | | a psychologist so I really don't have the right to say, |
| as time passes their imperfections get on our nerves | | | | but I am entitled to my opinion (here we go...you are |
| or become intolerable to handle. | | | | going to tend to judge me based on how your |
| First of all what are imperfections? I don't know | | | | opinion differs from mine...happens all the time, in all |
| about you but I don't have any. By this I don't mean | | | | relationships. |
| to imply that I'm perfect, but then who is? My | | | | I believe that generally speaking people feel the need |
| imperfections from your perspective are generally | | | | to change us to their way of believing, thinking or |
| things about me that are, who I am, but that are | | | | acting because they are insecure in their own views. |
| different than you think I should be. | | | | If they can convince someone else to be like them |
| HELLO... Is anyone listening? You have the right to be | | | | then they can tend to feel better about whom they |
| you. Who you are, who you were and who you are | | | | are. |
| becoming, whether these attitudes, behaviors, | | | | Here's the problem, even the people who are trying |
| feelings or tendencies bothered someone else or not. | | | | to change us are OK too - not perfect but OK. We |
| In fact if who I am bothers you that's your problem | | | | are all changing, every day. We are growing by |
| not mine. Again I don't mean to imply that I am | | | | design or accident. We are learning on purpose and |
| better than you, you are better than me, we are | | | | with intention or consequences, but like it or not we |
| equal whatever, just that each of us has the right, | | | | are learning, growing and changing each day. |
| no, the obligation to be true to who we are and who | | | | Part of the problem in relationships is when one |
| we are becoming. | | | | person can't seem to control what their partner is |
| It annoys me when someone says to me - I should - | | | | learning, how they are growing or when they are |
| according to their standards. I mean who made you | | | | learning what they are. People who are insecure don't |
| judge, jury and warden or even executioner? | | | | like change. They want to maintain the status-quo |
| I don't believe anyone has imperfections. Please, I'm | | | | and that includes the attitudes, beliefs, feelings and |
| not referring here to AX murderers, child abusers etc | | | | behaviors of their partner. When both people are |
| just everyday people who are doing their best to | | | | changing or becoming something or someone |
| survive, get along and get through their life the best | | | | different, the other partner is challenged in some |
| they can with what they have been given or have at | | | | way. If forces them to adapt and grow or change in |
| their disposal. | | | | some way as well. But many of these people would |
| When we are attracted to someone, in the beginning | | | | like nothing better for their partner not to change in |
| we were willing to overlook their imperfections (again | | | | any way so that they don't have to change either. |
| they didn't really have any). As time passes we often | | | | How are you impacted by the gradual changes your |
| wish they would change some of these | | | | partner makes? Do you support them? Feel |
| imperfections (at the expense of sounding redundant | | | | challenged by them? Help them? Sabotage them? |
| - they didn't have any). | | | | Endorse them? |
| Why do people feel the need to change us according | | | | |