| PART 1: Warning - This article may be inappropriate | | | | my fault. However, I was responsible for my refusal |
| for younger readers. Please seek the permission of a | | | | to forgive and my willingness to hate and harm |
| parent or guardian before reading further.Lately, I'm | | | | rather than to love using healthy boundaries. I was |
| hearing a lot about suicide or suicide attempts. It's | | | | wrong for judging all people as evil because of the |
| becoming increasingly clear to me, however, that | | | | crimes of a few. Refusing to forgive, to accept and |
| what I'm hearing about even more often is childhood | | | | receive love and to constructively deal with my |
| sexual abuse.It's everywhere.Some might say this | | | | anger and fear was hurting me, not my abusers. I |
| epidemic of childhood sexual abuse is another "sign of | | | | had to stop running from my longings for loving |
| the Apocalypse." After all, the Scriptures declare: "...in | | | | relationships.This realization sent me into a fierce |
| the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall | | | | battle - a matter of life and death. I felt I was |
| be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, | | | | teetering on the ledge of sanity versus insanity by |
| proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, | | | | the tips of my fingers, my body dangling above the |
| unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, | | | | abyss of despair. I was afraid of change, but even |
| trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, | | | | more afraid of the pain I carried. But I didn't try to |
| despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, | | | | hide from the truth this time.I understood the abuse |
| highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of | | | | was so invasive it would be a lifelong recovery |
| God; having a form of godliness, but denying the | | | | process. Just the thought of letting go of the anger |
| power thereof: from such turn away," (2 Timothy | | | | and the grief was hard to bear so I |
| 3:1-5). Hmmm...lovers of selves...disobedient to | | | | prayed...Eventually, God eliminated the pain from my |
| parents...without natural affection...lovers of | | | | past, but I'm yet learning to deal with the present, |
| pleasure...they may even have a form of godliness. | | | | which is strongly influenced by my past.DEFINING |
| Wow. Certainly, with Satan's track record for hating | | | | CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ABUSEHere's one appropriate |
| and murdering children throughout history, it's a | | | | definition: "Any sexual activity initiated by a peer or |
| pretty good guess that he could have his hand in this | | | | adult without consent is abuse, including physical, |
| current epidemic, too.Epidemic? Perhaps. Based on | | | | visual or verbal stimuli." As a rule of thumb, it's when |
| reported cases, US Justice Department statistics | | | | a person invades the physical or psychological realm |
| reveal that one in every four girls and one in every | | | | of a child or touches them sexually. This invasion |
| six boys (2.78 million guys) will be sexually abused | | | | results in the child suffering physical and/or |
| before the age of eighteen.JESUS: LORD OF THE | | | | psychological damage.I talked with the father of |
| SEXUAL PREDATORS?The media is filled with stories | | | | three young daughters who, after viewing a |
| about childhood sexual abuse involving everyone | | | | pornographic video while his girls were sleeping, hit |
| from ministers to siblings. Just this morning, a headline | | | | 'rewind' and went to bed. He was horrified the next |
| screamed that an Abilene minister was sentenced for | | | | morning as he walked in on his innocent little girls, still |
| sexually abusing a foster child. Though most Christians | | | | in their pajamas, huddled around the TV, eating |
| will likely find quite appalling the stories and statistics | | | | Lucky Charms, watching daddy's erotic film. Twenty |
| I've recently been pouring over, one thing we cannot | | | | years later, the girls have had multitudes of |
| forget - one thing that we absolutely MUST bear in | | | | unnecessary personal, sexual and relational burdens to |
| mind - is that Jesus died for sex offenders, too.I | | | | bear, including teen pregnancy and other psychological |
| know. I know. I cringed as I was reminded of that | | | | issues. Granted, they may have wound up that way |
| fact. I recall a man angrily declaring, "I hope there's an | | | | anyway, but as I relay that story to you, I cannot |
| exceedingly hot place in Hell for child abusers!" Even | | | | help but wonder if we, as a society, aren't just as |
| within our prisons, child sex offenders are looked | | | | guilty of the sexual abuse of our nation's children as |
| upon as being the worst of the worst. But let's | | | | we expose them to all sorts of off-color, even |
| remember, in most cases, child abusers were once | | | | blatantly sexual examples from the immodest |
| sexually molested, precious little children, too.The | | | | fashions of pop-singers to adult sit-coms and sexual |
| cycle must be broken.I firmly believe that there are | | | | content in films and printed subject matter. Children |
| some God-fearing Christians reading this right now | | | | should not have to try and process the garbage we |
| who are struggling with personally sexually abusing | | | | feed them by way of the media. We adults are |
| children and that he - or she (about 60% of male | | | | having a hard enough time processing all the junk |
| survivors report at least one of their perpetrators | | | | we're exposed to.Many people don't realize that they |
| was/is female) - needs to know that God loves | | | | have, in actuality - by definition - been sexually |
| them with an everlasting love and NOTHING can | | | | abused. See, the term 'sexual abuse' encompasses a |
| separate them from that love. | | | | wide variety of inappropriate actions from so-called |
| Jesus is the way out. Friends, you CAN get help. | | | | "victimless" crimes like voyeurism and indecent |
| Your life is a struggle and you've known all along that | | | | exposure, to child molestation, incest and rape. |
| something just wasn't "right" in your life. Let's deal | | | | Voyeurism and indecent exposure are often |
| with it. NOW! There's a reason why every one of us | | | | "gateway crimes" that can start an offender down |
| is the way we are. We are receptacles but yours is | | | | the path to more serious action.Here's a myth-buster: |
| NOT an insurmountable problem. In the same way | | | | Contrary to popular belief, the perpetrators of sex |
| your problem has gotten gradually worse, it really | | | | offenses are NOT acting out of sexual desires; their |
| CAN get better.In addition, I am certain that there | | | | primary motive is simply POWER. Child abusers may |
| are scores of readers who were victims of childhood | | | | become so demonically oppressed that they give |
| sexual abuse. You need to know that there is no | | | | way to a stronghold and begin to seek domination - |
| shame. You are not guilty. You are not "damaged | | | | CONTROL - over others who are easy prey. When |
| goods" and God desires to empower you and use | | | | one abusive act fails to satisfy, they find themselves |
| the story of your life to encourage many, many | | | | wanting more. The acts can often become so |
| others who have believed the devil's lies. There is an | | | | dangerous that nothing short of taking a human life |
| army just like you - an army looking for leadership - | | | | will stop the urge. To sex offenders, victims are not |
| who needs to know the way out. Jesus is the WAY, | | | | seen as being real people, but as OBJECTS to be |
| working through you. Lead them out, back onto the | | | | dominated.A MAJOR SOCIAL ISSUEHow pervasive is |
| battlefield where you can all make a difference as | | | | sexual abuse of children? It's estimated that there |
| wounded, yet overcoming, soldiers. The planet is | | | | are 60 million child rape survivors in the USA today. |
| covered with people like you who need help. Go on | | | | Children with disabilities are 4 to 10 times more |
| and break the cycle. Yes, YOU!To those who are | | | | vulnerable to sexual abuse than their non-disabled |
| neither sex offenders (who may even disdain those | | | | peers (Source: National Resource Center on Child |
| who commit these acts), or victims of childhood | | | | Sexual Abuse, 1992). Long term effects of child |
| sexual abuse (who cannot relate to the emotional | | | | abuse include fear, anxiety, depression, anger, |
| suffering they are experiencing that is impacting | | | | hostility, inappropriate sexual behavior, poor self |
| virtually every other aspect of their lives), I ask that | | | | esteem, tendency toward substance abuse and |
| you read this article, gather the facts, and ask that | | | | difficulty with close relationships. (Source: Browne & |
| God would break your heart for both the abusers | | | | Finkelhor, 1986).Adolescents with a history of sexual |
| and the abused. This issue DOES involve | | | | abuse are significantly more likely than their |
| you.According to Ephesians Chapter 6 in the Holy | | | | counterparts to engage in sexual behavior that puts |
| Bible, our battle is NEVER against people, but against | | | | them at risk for HIV infection, according to Dr. Larry |
| demonic forces at work in people's lives. We must | | | | K. Brown, Rhode Island Hospital. According to Dr. |
| see those who hurt people as hurting people. Let us | | | | Brown, "These results suggest two things. Abused |
| perceive them as we would a child playing on a | | | | kids need adequate counseling around abuse issues. A |
| playground, oblivious to the rabid dog approaching. Do | | | | lot of these kids keep re-experiencing the anxiety |
| we get angry at the child or run to their defense | | | | and trauma for years." The second issue, he said, is |
| with prayer, encouragement and counsel?WHAT ONE | | | | that "most therapy does not address current sexual |
| SURVIVOR SAYSHere's what one survivor of | | | | behavior" and the anxieties that sexually abused |
| childhood sexual abuse had to say about her journey | | | | adolescents experience. (Source: Larry K. Brown, M.D., |
| toward victory after being abused by a minister in | | | | et al, American Journal of Psychiatry 2000).Did you |
| her church: ...abuse touched every aspect of my life - | | | | know that, among both adolescent girls and boys, a |
| emotional, physical, relational and spiritual. I lived with | | | | history of sexual or physical abuse appears to |
| a victim mentality for over thirty years until I learned | | | | increase the risk of eating disorders? Abused girls |
| to be a survivor.I was angry with everyone, and | | | | were more dissatisfied with their weight and more |
| afraid to trust anyone. Shame and guilt became my | | | | likely to diet and purge their food by vomiting or |
| constant companions, convincing me that I somehow | | | | using laxatives and diuretics. These girls were also |
| encouraged the abusers' advances. I built protective | | | | more likely to restrict their eating when they were |
| barriers to avoid loving and being loved.It seemed as | | | | bored or emotionally upset. This finding suggests that |
| though my body defied me by bringing unsolicited | | | | abused girls might experience higher levels of |
| sexual advances, thus becoming my own worst | | | | emotional distress, possibly linked to their abuse, and |
| enemy. I took revenge against my body, forcing it to | | | | have trouble coping. Food restriction and perhaps |
| make restitution for its disloyalty as I smoked, drank, | | | | other eating disorder behaviors may (reflect) efforts |
| and over-ate my way to false comfort.Because | | | | to cope with such experiences. (Source: Stephen A. |
| adults betrayed and humiliated me, I became | | | | Wonderlich, M.D., et al, University of North Dakota |
| rebellious, refusing to submit to authority. I kept | | | | School of Medicine and Health Sciences in Fargo, |
| intimate relationships at bay for fear someone I | | | | Journal of the American Academy of Child and |
| cared about would learn my secret.Because some of | | | | Adolescent Psychiatry 2000).PART 2 on this subject |
| my abusers were "upstanding" members in the | | | | is available to anyone who is interested. |
| church clergy, I couldn't trust a God who seemed | | | | Simply hit REPLY and type ABUSE in the SUBJECT |
| indifferent to my suffering and who allowed adults to | | | | BAR.Love one another.Every blessing!Michael |
| abuse me. I was afraid of that kind of love, so I | | | | A servant of God |
| rejected God and the counsel of the church.I | | | | t.e.a.m. ministries |
| suffered silently for more than thirty years before it | | | | A Message of Discipleship & Encouragement to the |
| became imperative that I face the issues of sexual | | | | Body of Christ |
| abuse in my life. I couldn't carry the burden and pain | | | | P.O. Box 633 |
| alone. I had to face the past, deal with the hurts and | | | | Stephenville, Texas 76401 |
| learn to live in the present. The "protective tools" I | | | | |
| selected as a twelve-year old abused child - anger, | | | | BLOG: Michael has been broadcasting his eMail |
| bitterness and refusal to forgive - caused me more | | | | messages of Discipleship and encouragement to |
| pain rather than relief, since I longed for love, | | | | Christians of all denominations |
| acceptance and affirmation.I didn't want to forgive, | | | | since 1999. These messages are literally reaching |
| however, because forgiving my abusers seemed to | | | | millions each week and the messages are being |
| reduce the significance of the crime and their need | | | | re-posted on other Christian sites,used as Bible |
| for punishment...I felt warranted in my desire for | | | | studies for groups, and are being used by those in |
| justice... I did nothing to cause the abuse - it wasn't | | | | ministry as a preaching guide. |