| PART 1: Warning - This article may be | | | | love using healthy boundaries. I was wrong |
| inappropriate for younger readers. Please | | | | for judging all people as evil because of the |
| seek the permission of a parent or guardian | | | | crimes of a few. Refusing to forgive, to |
| before reading further.Lately, I'm hearing a | | | | accept and receive love and to constructively |
| lot about suicide or suicide attempts. It's | | | | deal with my anger and fear was hurting me, |
| becoming increasingly clear to me, however, | | | | not my abusers. I had to stop running from my |
| that what I'm hearing about even more often | | | | longings for loving relationships.This |
| is childhood sexual abuse.It's | | | | realization sent me into a fierce battle - a |
| everywhere.Some might say this epidemic of | | | | matter of life and death. I felt I was |
| childhood sexual abuse is another "sign of | | | | teetering on the ledge of sanity versus |
| the Apocalypse." After all, the Scriptures | | | | insanity by the tips of my fingers, my body |
| declare: "...in the last days perilous times | | | | dangling above the abyss of despair. I was |
| shall come. For men shall be lovers of their | | | | afraid of change, but even more afraid of the |
| own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, | | | | pain I carried. But I didn't try to hide from |
| blasphemers, disobedient to parents, | | | | the truth this time.I understood the abuse |
| unthankful, unholy, without natural | | | | was so invasive it would be a lifelong |
| affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, | | | | recovery process. Just the thought of letting |
| incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that | | | | go of the anger and the grief was hard to |
| are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers | | | | bear so I prayed...Eventually, God eliminated |
| of pleasures more than lovers of God; having | | | | the pain from my past, but I'm yet learning |
| a form of godliness, but denying the power | | | | to deal with the present, which is strongly |
| thereof: from such turn away," (2 Timothy | | | | influenced by my past.DEFINING CHILDHOOD |
| 3:1-5). Hmmm...lovers of selves...disobedient | | | | SEXUAL ABUSEHere's one appropriate |
| to parents...without natural | | | | definition: "Any sexual activity initiated by |
| affection...lovers of pleasure...they may | | | | a peer or adult without consent is abuse, |
| even have a form of godliness. Wow. | | | | including physical, visual or verbal |
| Certainly, with Satan's track record for | | | | stimuli." As a rule of thumb, it's when a |
| hating and murdering children throughout | | | | person invades the physical or psychological |
| history, it's a pretty good guess that he | | | | realm of a child or touches them sexually. |
| could have his hand in this current epidemic, | | | | This invasion results in the child suffering |
| too.Epidemic? Perhaps. Based on reported | | | | physical and/or psychological damage.I talked |
| cases, US Justice Department statistics | | | | with the father of three young daughters who, |
| reveal that one in every four girls and one | | | | after viewing a pornographic video while his |
| in every six boys (2.78 million guys) will be | | | | girls were sleeping, hit 'rewind' and went to |
| sexually abused before the age of | | | | bed. He was horrified the next morning as he |
| eighteen.JESUS: LORD OF THE SEXUAL | | | | walked in on his innocent little girls, still |
| PREDATORS?The media is filled with stories | | | | in their pajamas, huddled around the TV, |
| about childhood sexual abuse involving | | | | eating Lucky Charms, watching daddy's erotic |
| everyone from ministers to siblings. Just | | | | film. Twenty years later, the girls have had |
| this morning, a headline screamed that an | | | | multitudes of unnecessary personal, sexual |
| Abilene minister was sentenced for sexually | | | | and relational burdens to bear, including |
| abusing a foster child. Though most | | | | teen pregnancy and other psychological |
| Christians will likely find quite appalling | | | | issues. Granted, they may have wound up that |
| the stories and statistics I've recently been | | | | way anyway, but as I relay that story to you, |
| pouring over, one thing we cannot forget - | | | | I cannot help but wonder if we, as a society, |
| one thing that we absolutely MUST bear in | | | | aren't just as guilty of the sexual abuse of |
| mind - is that Jesus died for sex offenders, | | | | our nation's children as we expose them to |
| too.I know. I know. I cringed as I was | | | | all sorts of off-color, even blatantly sexual |
| reminded of that fact. I recall a man angrily | | | | examples from the immodest fashions of |
| declaring, "I hope there's an exceedingly hot | | | | pop-singers to adult sit-coms and sexual |
| place in Hell for child abusers!" Even within | | | | content in films and printed subject matter. |
| our prisons, child sex offenders are looked | | | | Children should not have to try and process |
| upon as being the worst of the worst. But | | | | the garbage we feed them by way of the media. |
| let's remember, in most cases, child abusers | | | | We adults are having a hard enough time |
| were once sexually molested, precious little | | | | processing all the junk we're exposed to.Many |
| children, too.The cycle must be broken.I | | | | people don't realize that they have, in |
| firmly believe that there are some | | | | actuality - by definition - been sexually |
| God-fearing Christians reading this right now | | | | abused. See, the term 'sexual abuse' |
| who are struggling with personally sexually | | | | encompasses a wide variety of inappropriate |
| abusing children and that he - or she (about | | | | actions from so-called "victimless" crimes |
| 60% of male survivors report at least one of | | | | like voyeurism and indecent exposure, to |
| their perpetrators was/is female) - needs to | | | | child molestation, incest and rape. Voyeurism |
| know that God loves them with an everlasting | | | | and indecent exposure are often "gateway |
| love and NOTHING can separate them from that | | | | crimes" that can start an offender down the |
| love. | | | | path to more serious action.Here's a |
| | | | myth-buster: Contrary to popular belief, the |
| Jesus is the way out. Friends, you CAN get | | | | perpetrators of sex offenses are NOT acting |
| help. Your life is a struggle and you've | | | | out of sexual desires; their primary motive |
| known all along that something just wasn't | | | | is simply POWER. Child abusers may become so |
| "right" in your life. Let's deal with it. | | | | demonically oppressed that they give way to a |
| NOW! There's a reason why every one of us is | | | | stronghold and begin to seek domination - |
| the way we are. We are receptacles but yours | | | | CONTROL - over others who are easy prey. When |
| is NOT an insurmountable problem. In the same | | | | one abusive act fails to satisfy, they find |
| way your problem has gotten gradually worse, | | | | themselves wanting more. The acts can often |
| it really CAN get better.In addition, I am | | | | become so dangerous that nothing short of |
| certain that there are scores of readers who | | | | taking a human life will stop the urge. To |
| were victims of childhood sexual abuse. You | | | | sex offenders, victims are not seen as being |
| need to know that there is no shame. You are | | | | real people, but as OBJECTS to be |
| not guilty. You are not "damaged goods" and | | | | dominated.A MAJOR SOCIAL ISSUEHow pervasive |
| God desires to empower you and use the story | | | | is sexual abuse of children? It's estimated |
| of your life to encourage many, many others | | | | that there are 60 million child rape |
| who have believed the devil's lies. There is | | | | survivors in the USA today. Children with |
| an army just like you - an army looking for | | | | disabilities are 4 to 10 times more |
| leadership - who needs to know the way out. | | | | vulnerable to sexual abuse than their |
| Jesus is the WAY, working through you. Lead | | | | non-disabled peers (Source: National Resource |
| them out, back onto the battlefield where you | | | | Center on Child Sexual Abuse, 1992). Long |
| can all make a difference as wounded, yet | | | | term effects of child abuse include fear, |
| overcoming, soldiers. The planet is covered | | | | anxiety, depression, anger, hostility, |
| with people like you who need help. Go on and | | | | inappropriate sexual behavior, poor self |
| break the cycle. Yes, YOU!To those who are | | | | esteem, tendency toward substance abuse and |
| neither sex offenders (who may even disdain | | | | difficulty with close relationships. (Source: |
| those who commit these acts), or victims of | | | | Browne & Finkelhor, 1986).Adolescents with a |
| childhood sexual abuse (who cannot relate to | | | | history of sexual abuse are significantly |
| the emotional suffering they are experiencing | | | | more likely than their counterparts to engage |
| that is impacting virtually every other | | | | in sexual behavior that puts them at risk for |
| aspect of their lives), I ask that you read | | | | HIV infection, according to Dr. Larry K. |
| this article, gather the facts, and ask that | | | | Brown, Rhode Island Hospital. According to |
| God would break your heart for both the | | | | Dr. Brown, "These results suggest two things. |
| abusers and the abused. This issue DOES | | | | Abused kids need adequate counseling around |
| involve you.According to Ephesians Chapter 6 | | | | abuse issues. A lot of these kids keep |
| in the Holy Bible, our battle is NEVER | | | | re-experiencing the anxiety and trauma for |
| against people, but against demonic forces at | | | | years." The second issue, he said, is that |
| work in people's lives. We must see those who | | | | "most therapy does not address current sexual |
| hurt people as hurting people. Let us | | | | behavior" and the anxieties that sexually |
| perceive them as we would a child playing on | | | | abused adolescents experience. (Source: Larry |
| a playground, oblivious to the rabid dog | | | | K. Brown, M.D., et al, American Journal of |
| approaching. Do we get angry at the child or | | | | Psychiatry 2000).Did you know that, among |
| run to their defense with prayer, | | | | both adolescent girls and boys, a history of |
| encouragement and counsel?WHAT ONE SURVIVOR | | | | sexual or physical abuse appears to increase |
| SAYSHere's what one survivor of childhood | | | | the risk of eating disorders? Abused girls |
| sexual abuse had to say about her journey | | | | were more dissatisfied with their weight and |
| toward victory after being abused by a | | | | more likely to diet and purge their food by |
| minister in her church: ...abuse touched | | | | vomiting or using laxatives and diuretics. |
| every aspect of my life - emotional, | | | | These girls were also more likely to restrict |
| physical, relational and spiritual. I lived | | | | their eating when they were bored or |
| with a victim mentality for over thirty years | | | | emotionally upset. This finding suggests that |
| until I learned to be a survivor.I was angry | | | | abused girls might experience higher levels |
| with everyone, and afraid to trust anyone. | | | | of emotional distress, possibly linked to |
| Shame and guilt became my constant | | | | their abuse, and have trouble coping. Food |
| companions, convincing me that I somehow | | | | restriction and perhaps other eating disorder |
| encouraged the abusers' advances. I built | | | | behaviors may (reflect) efforts to cope with |
| protective barriers to avoid loving and being | | | | such experiences. (Source: Stephen A. |
| loved.It seemed as though my body defied me | | | | Wonderlich, M.D., et al, University of North |
| by bringing unsolicited sexual advances, thus | | | | Dakota School of Medicine and Health Sciences |
| becoming my own worst enemy. I took revenge | | | | in Fargo, Journal of the American Academy of |
| against my body, forcing it to make | | | | Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 2000).PART 2 |
| restitution for its disloyalty as I smoked, | | | | on this subject is available to anyone who is |
| drank, and over-ate my way to false | | | | interested. |
| comfort.Because adults betrayed and | | | | |
| humiliated me, I became rebellious, refusing | | | | Simply hit REPLY and type ABUSE in the |
| to submit to authority. I kept intimate | | | | SUBJECT BAR.Love one another.Every |
| relationships at bay for fear someone I cared | | | | blessing!Michael |
| about would learn my secret.Because some of | | | | |
| my abusers were "upstanding" members in the | | | | A servant of God |
| church clergy, I couldn't trust a God who | | | | |
| seemed indifferent to my suffering and who | | | | t.e.a.m. ministries |
| allowed adults to abuse me. I was afraid of | | | | |
| that kind of love, so I rejected God and the | | | | A Message of Discipleship & Encouragement to |
| counsel of the church.I suffered silently for | | | | the Body of Christ |
| more than thirty years before it became | | | | |
| imperative that I face the issues of sexual | | | | P.O. Box 633 |
| abuse in my life. I couldn't carry the burden | | | | |
| and pain alone. I had to face the past, deal | | | | Stephenville, Texas 76401 |
| with the hurts and learn to live in the | | | | |
| present. The "protective tools" I selected as | | | | |
| a twelve-year old abused child - anger, | | | | |
| bitterness and refusal to forgive - caused me | | | | BLOG: Michael has been broadcasting his |
| more pain rather than relief, since I longed | | | | eMail messages of Discipleship and |
| for love, acceptance and affirmation.I didn't | | | | encouragement to Christians of all |
| want to forgive, however, because forgiving | | | | denominations |
| my abusers seemed to reduce the significance | | | | |
| of the crime and their need for | | | | since 1999. These messages are literally |
| punishment...I felt warranted in my desire | | | | reaching millions each week and the messages |
| for justice... I did nothing to cause the | | | | are being re-posted on other Christian |
| abuse - it wasn't my fault. However, I was | | | | sites,used as Bible studies for groups, and |
| responsible for my refusal to forgive and my | | | | are being used by those in ministry as a |
| willingness to hate and harm rather than to | | | | preaching guide. |