| During my most recent trip to the East coast of | | | | cumbersome and difficult to engage without an |
| South Florida, which turned out to be much lengthier | | | | attorney and something as simple as transferring title |
| than anticipated, I knew before hand there would be | | | | to a vehicle can become arduous. However, there |
| much to loath and probably more to fear. I was not | | | | are plenty of attorneys to choose from since Florida |
| disappointed on either account.Upon arriving at the Ft. | | | | state motto could well be "I'll Sue You. One uses a |
| Lauderdale International Airport, I purchased a copy | | | | shopping cart at his or her own legal peril while |
| of the Miami Herald and immediately sensed fear, for | | | | shopping for groceries at Winn Dixie, particularly on |
| I read that Governor Jeb Bush was about to sign a | | | | the days following a hurricane when water is in short |
| bill just that week that would become known as the | | | | supply. It's helpful, of course, to be Tri-lingual, that is, |
| "Stand Your Ground" law. The law immunizes citizens | | | | fluent in English, Spanish, and New York. That I was |
| who use deadly force in self-defense against criminal | | | | fluent in only the first two did not make my stay any |
| prosecution and civil liability. Quickly realizing that | | | | easier.Florida weather can be treacherous in its |
| under this "Shoot First" law, as long as the shooter "is | | | | unpredictability. Heavy rain storms suddenly pop up |
| not engaged in unlawful activity" and is "attacked in | | | | while the sky is blue and then disappear just as |
| any other place where he or she has a right to be" | | | | quickly. This, of course, adds to one's driving pleasure, |
| the shooter has the right to use deadly force. Thus , | | | | especially while the lane jumpers are perpetrating |
| if a fist fight escalates to lethal violence, the shooter | | | | their madness. Speaking of weather, what would a |
| could receive immunity under the law even if he | | | | visit to Florida be without at least the threat of a |
| initiated the confrontation, as long as he "reasonably | | | | tropical storm or hurricane. Hurricanes are not |
| believed" that shooting a gun was necessary to | | | | romantic.They are nasty, scary and equal opportunity |
| prevent "great bodily harm" to himself. Needless to | | | | renderers of severe damage, not only from wind and |
| say, even before I drove out of the parking lot, I | | | | water, but from the after effects of being without |
| swore to myself that I would be on my very best | | | | power for weeks. Indeed, the subtle ripple effects of |
| behavior and look straight ahead even after being | | | | these storms are just plain awful and too numerous |
| insulted or otherwise abused during any road rage | | | | to describe in this piece. Yet, to cushion the |
| incidents....which, in Florida, are virtually impossible to | | | | discomfort, there are thousands of little acts of |
| avoid. Cautiously glancing at the faces of some of | | | | kindness that neighbors do for each other that are |
| the drivers while driving north on dangerous 95 | | | | so very wonderful and tender. During the aftermath |
| brought to mind Jack Nicholson in the Shining.Now | | | | of the hurricane that blew directly over Delray Beach |
| don't get me wrong. I'm no shrinking violet, and NH | | | | (though not my first experience with one), the fact I |
| Senate Bill 318, recently introduced by Senator Peter | | | | was able to make instant coffee and cook soup with |
| Bragdon, R-Amherst, if passed, will thankfully bring NH | | | | sterno made me quite popular in my condo complex. |
| law more in line with that of Florida......and that's a | | | | Meanwhile, someone named "Boyardee" quickly |
| good thing since no person should face the possibility | | | | became the most famous chef in Palm Beach |
| of prison time for standing up to an attacker. But | | | | County.To this day, I cannot fathom why people |
| present NH law does just that. It states that deadly | | | | waited in two-mile long lines to get ice. Why? What |
| force used in self-defense outside of one's own | | | | did they do with it? Martinis, medicine, food? No one |
| property is not justified if one can, with completee | | | | seemed to know the answer but people still waited |
| safety, retreat from the situation or surrender | | | | in long.......and I mean long..........lines which were |
| property to which the aggressor claims a right. So, if | | | | supervised by heavily armed members of the Florida |
| faced with a car jacker in, say, Wal-Mart's parking lot, | | | | National Guard even though those waiting appeared |
| let him drive off with your pickup. In our "Live Free | | | | to pose no threat given their frailty and median age. |
| or Die" state, crime victims are at an disadvantage | | | | Meanwhile, burly State Troopers and local police |
| while a crime is being committeed. If Governor John | | | | directed traffic and did a superb job though some of |
| Lynch does the right thing, this is about to | | | | the high speed collisions at unprotected intersections |
| changeOnce safely ensconced in the family condo in | | | | during the evening hours were almost surreal in their |
| Delray Beach, I received recorded non-stop phone | | | | spectacularity.But for sheer fear, nothing topped |
| messages from just about every scamster in the | | | | waiting in long lines at service stations for gas (at |
| state with just about every illicit idea imaginable. A | | | | those stations smart enough to have generators) |
| particularly despicable one asked if my brother had | | | | where the attendants wore holsters packed with |
| passed away yet. He was "offering assistance during | | | | lethal-looking weapons. Combining this with the new |
| this time of grief." In Florida, these are apparently | | | | "shoot first" law, the fact that being able to shower |
| known as obituary predators. After scores of other | | | | with safe and warm water was a luxury long |
| calls, it became clear just how vulnerable the elderly | | | | forgotten, being in slow and long lines with hot |
| and/or the lonely might be in this state, and how | | | | tempered, ill-mannered and dangerous looking people, |
| helpless they are to do much about it. This is | | | | and doing all this while toting up the costs incurred by |
| loathsome, indeed.But getting back to road rage, | | | | a damaging hurricane, and finally reeling from daily |
| Florida does not have a turning signal law so lane | | | | customer service that seemed to go out of its way |
| jumping is commonplace. In fact, many multiple lane | | | | to be aggressively offensive and would better be |
| jumpers have it down to an art form...........perpendicular | | | | termed "customer abuse" ..........all this presented a |
| finger and all. And I am not just talking about driving | | | | supreme test of one's will.I did make many solid and |
| around some protected enclave like Route 1 through | | | | lasting friends during my stay in Delray Beach and |
| Palm Beach or Boca Raton or on the other side of | | | | Palm Beach County, particularly during the storm. |
| the state. No, I'm talking about driving south on 441 | | | | Most were from other states since a Florida native |
| toward Plantation or on treacherous 95 toward | | | | along this part of the East coast is about as rare as |
| Wilton Manors or in and around West Palm Beach or | | | | a manatee. But I was truly elated when it came time |
| Miami proper where returning an insult can lead to | | | | to finally return home to my wife, dog, friends and |
| something sudden and serious. When you combine | | | | home in good old North Conway, New Hampshire......a |
| this with the new "Stand Your Ground" law, you | | | | place the overall pleasantness of which should never |
| have something that can only be described as toxic | | | | be taken for granted.A limo took me to the Ft. |
| alchemy.On one sunny morning while driving south on | | | | Lauderdale Airport for an agreed upon price of $ 70. |
| 441 toward Margate, I suddenly noticed that cars | | | | Upon arriving, I handed the driver a one hundred |
| were swerving to the left and right of center, some | | | | dollar bill and pleasantly said "please give me back |
| going on the shoulder. Finally, I saw what the cause | | | | $10" whereupon he replied he did not have any |
| was. A smiling George Burns look-alike, cigar and all, | | | | change (apparently, a near 30% tip was not enough |
| was driving his golf cart down the center of the road | | | | for him). Little did the poor guy know I was hep to |
| in the wrong direction. Hardly believing my eyes, I | | | | his scam and that my frustrations had been building |
| quickly swerved to the shoulder and let the fellow | | | | for weeks. He simply gave me the excuse I was |
| geezer pass. I never found out what happened to | | | | looking for...........but that's another matter."The best |
| him or how he found his way onto a major highway | | | | remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy |
| but I had a funny feeling the incident was not all that | | | | is to go outside, somewhere where they can be |
| unusual. Fear and loathing? No. Amusing? Oh God, yes! | | | | quiet, alone with the heavens, nature and God. |
| Dangerous? Most definitely.On the positive side and | | | | Because only then does one feel that all is as it |
| given its population of retirees, Florida does have a | | | | should be and that God wishes to see people happy, |
| fantastic network of medical care facilities running | | | | amidst the simple beauty of nature." Anne FrankTed |
| from out-patient care to hospice and everything in | | | | Sares, PhD, is a private investor who lives and writes |
| between. The medical teams in Florida are simply | | | | in the White Mountain area of Northern New |
| incredible and if one has to take ill, this is one of the | | | | Hampshire with his wife Holly and Min Pin Jackdog. He |
| better states in which to do it. Conversely, the | | | | writes a weekly column for a local newspaper and |
| governmental bureaucracy in Florida is extremely | | | | many of his other pieces are widely published. |